This week we’re discussing the last part of the DRD framework, developing problem strategies for being in relationship. When a relationship happens, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. The ability to problem solve in dating and relationships is essential. Sometimes when problems emerge in a relationship, we feel scared and vulnerable. We may feel we’re inadequate or we’re being rejected. Sometimes we react by shutting down and that can destroy our relationship when in reality we may just have to develop our problem solving muscle.
What’s A Problem Solving Muscle?
- All relationships have issues. A good relationship is not about having few problems but how well two people work through the problems they have.
- Especially if you’re new to relationships, it’s helpful to keep in mind that problem solving is a skill that we develop by using it, much like a muscle.
- You begin to develop this skill, build this muscle, like you get good at everything else - by practice.
The Basic Relationship Skills
- For simplicity, let’s look at the two fundamental skills of problem solving, particular in relationships - communicating and listening. If you can do these well, it will save you a lot of heartache in relationships when problems arise.
- For listening, the key, and I’m saying this as much to myself as I am to all of you, is to shut up, close your mouth, mute yourself on zoom if needed. Just take in what another is saying to you without feeling the need to put in your two cents.
- For communicating and in order to clearly communicate, check in with yourself first to really understand what you’re thinking and feeling before you communicate your concern to another.
Where Do We Go From Here?
- This may sound counterintuitive, but I’d like you to consider embracing problems in relationships and building up your confidence that you can effectively handle them.
- Practice strengthening that problem solving muscle with people in your life now, whether they’re family, friends, coworkers, or the person you’re in relationship with.
- See problems not so much as a threat to a relationship but an opportunity to work through a block in the relationship that could be making it better.
Resources
Credits
Music by: https://www.purple-planet.com "Successful Motivation"
Artwork photo by Elevate
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Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate
