If you’re listening to this around the time it’s published, it is the holiday season and if you’re single, you may be having a hard time with feeling lonely and longing to be with someone. You are not alone. I recently asked a group of single people with disabilities about their feelings during the holidays. Their responses included wondering why they are still single, missing loved ones, and wanting someone to cuddle by the fire with.
I remember feeling so lonely for many years during the holiday season as I gathered with family and friends who were all creating families of their own. These are all very human, very understandable responses. This episode is about how to cope with these feelings and how to actually use them for your benefit.
Acknowledge How You Feel
- Many times when you’re feeling hard emotions like loneliness and longing, it can help significantly to just acknowledge how you feel. Now you may think “Why would I want to admit feeling sad or despair from not having anyone in my life?” Facing your feelings like this can actually provide an emotional release because you’re no longer pretending they don’t exist or pushing the feelings down.
- It’s helpful to remember an emotion is part of you, but not all of you. Don’t be afraid of emotions overtaking you, they won’t. Most emotions, when we’re really present to them and feel them, they only last 90 seconds.
- It’s also helpful that you don’t judge yourself for having such emotions. Be gentle with yourself, especially when you’re having a hard time. Few things can make you feel worse than judgment on top of a challenging emotion.
Use How You Feel for Fuel
- Looking back on my single years and the loneliness I felt during the holidays, one of the most important things I did is use my feelings to motivate me to continue taking risks to put myself out there to date and meet someone.
- I wanted that vision of waking up with my own family and cuddles by the fire.
- How can you take your struggle with being single this holiday season and all the feelings that come with it to help propel you further toward that vision you have for yourself.
Where Do We Go From Here?
- Use what you’re struggling with and feeling to make the changes you want.
- Just because you're this holiday season, doesn’t mean you won’t be next.
- To help you, this week I have a choice of three downloads to help you with getting through being single during the holidays. You can download one or all three. They are:
- The 3, 2, 1 plan, which was the download related to Episode 9. A quick review of it is you choose three affirmations for yourself to help grow your dating confidence. You pick two beliefs about either yourself, your disability, or your mindset about relationships that need an overhaul. Then you’re going to decide on one action you’re goin
Check out our Dating Memberships:
Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.
Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.
Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate
