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While we live on opposite sides of the country and there were years when we were in rare contact with one another, our friendship of 17 years has grown so strong over time.  We truly respect one another's values and perspectives. We each bring our own unique gifts and strengths to the friendship. Trinity has an inner wisdom and fierce confidence that is unparalled.  It's this confidence that makes us feel like we can achieve whatever we set out to do.  And when I say "fierce" ohhh girl! Trinity is everyone's advocate and shares her voice with the eloquence of a powerful orator so that people truly lean in to hear what it is she has to say. She's a natural born leader and has this charisma that people FEEL when she walks in a room. And, best of all, she makes all of us laugh our asses off on a daily basis. Shelby is a natural born nurturer (perhaps, to a fault) and is always eager to listen. Where Trinity is spontaneous, Shelby tends to be more structured and focused and, in this way, there is a balance between them. Shelby has her silly side too and together we laugh often, provide continuous empathy and support to one another and can't imagine life without the other.

And today our guest, Brenda Ridgley, supports women; who have lost themselves in their roles as wife, mother and professional, find their personal tribe of women to lift them up, help them "reparent" their inner child and give to one another the nurturing we seem to be so good at giving to EVERYONE else, but ourselves

And, for so many of us in midlife, we've spent so much of our time giving ourselves over to our spouse, our careers, our children, that we lose who WE are and what is important to us. Brenda helps her clients discover their WHY. So many women at this age and stage in life cannot articulate why they do what they do and their answer to the question "what is your why" or "purpose" is usually ~ my family. Motherhood is noble and important but there needs to be more that is for and about her, the woman.

Brenda is an author, speaker and girlfriend guru who loves helping women connect, find success, and discover joy through friendship. Her mission is to support women who have lost themselves in their roles as wife and mother and encourage them to nurture feminine friendships to build their own Tribe of support. Through her workshops, coaching, retreats, and podcast ~ Find Your Lady Tribe, Brenda helps women connect and communicate with respect, love and trust. She holds an MA in human resources and has spent decades cultivating her own Tribe.

In her book "Lady and the Tribe" Brenda celebrates the power of female friendships, shares insights into the ways they enrich women’s lives and offers strategies for creating, strengthening, and enjoying these relationships to the fullest.

In this episode, Brenda teaches us:

1. We are all put on this earth with out own unique gifts and purpose. To get to your "why" write down what you think it is and then continue to ask "why". Why did you say that? Why is that important? Why would that give you purpose? Keep going until you feel like you've truly gotten to the heart of what is important to you.
2. Ask yourself what would the impact be if you did NOT fulfill your why...go out 5 years and explore how that would make you feel. The goal of the exercise is to help you feel the pain of NOT taking action. Our brains want us to continue what is comfortable and steer clear of what is uncomfortable or "dangerous". So we have to shift our Frame of mind to feeling the "danger" of not changing.
3. If you struggle to find your "why" ask a friend to reflect back to you what they love and appreciate about you.
4. Women need mothering. We mother everyone else, but forget to nurture ourselves. Our tribe of female friends can give us the nurturing we need and can even help us reparent our inner child.
5. Not everyone get tribe status, even if they have been in your life forever. It is a privilege, a right and it can be revoked! But when you DO want to build new relationships, find the time. Put it on your calendar and engage in an activity and place where you can give one another your undivided attention

You can find Brenda on:

Website | www.BrendaRidgley.com

Girl...it is OUR goal to create a tribe of women who are striving to navigate midlife so that we do NOT have to go on this crazy journey alone! We are here for you. Let's band together to support one another. Please join our Dear Midlife community on FB or follow us on Instagram and let's do midlife together!