It's always a bit of a shock when life throws us a curve ball. We think we have everything under control and then something happens to remind us that we're not actually in charge of anything. It can be a really difficult thing to deal with, especially if it feels like everything is crumbling down around us.
But when sh*t starts to go off the rails, it might be the perfect opportunity to reevaluate our lives and see if what we are currently doing is aligned with who we truly are.
Feeling stuck, unhappy with your current situation, or living in unalignment with your values? This just might be the episode you need to make a change.
If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie
To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: hello@bauthenticinc.com
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"I gave up all pretenses and was like, "yeah, I'm just the drunk friend sitting at the table."
"Baby Ruth is the worst candy bar, and I can think of two movies it starred in."
"I feel like I won the dad lottery. I really do."
"It's hard to live in a world where your biggest fan is not there."
"We shall never speak of this again." -Aurelio Licata, Nicole's father
"It's fucking weird in here."-Aurelio Licata, Nicole's father
"It's useful to spend some time thinking about whether you're operating in 'what' or 'why' to maximize your energy, your efficiency, your impact. Do what you need to do. Survive, thrive, whatever the fuck it is. Knowing the difference between those two things and where you stand is the difference between standing still and moving forward."
00:00 Asking yourself those questions can be possibly an important litmus test as part of your litmus tests for figuring out where you are right now and where you want to go, right?
00:13 Are you in the right place? Are you working for the right person? Are you working in the right position? I believe that a lot of our frustration comes from wanting the why, but really only being able to access the what?
01:03 Welcome to the BeCuz podcast with Erin and Nicole. Uh, wait, are we recording? Yes, this is our intro. So we've been friends long enough to basically go from idiots to executives.
01:41 Hey Nicole, Erin. It's time for another podcast episode.
01:45 Sure it is because sometimes there are no right answers. And they're not so much today. I just got my root stats.
10:01 But I really appreciate that they've put me in a really good space because as my dad also passed away this week.
10:11 He passed away on Monday. Leave it to my dad like the guy who gave up Catholicism for lent during Holy Week.
10:34 But it was, it wasn't quite for me. My father was epic. I've talked about it many times in this podcast and I feel like I won the dad lottery.
12:10 It's just, I think what occurred to me, the thing that really hurt, besides being really hurt for my mom, was I was like, I've lost my biggest fan.
13:50 And I think I was sitting there thinking to myself, okay, I was asking myself a lot of what? Like, what is happening?
14:38 So I'm asking what? And the whole time my mom's asking why?
15:55 Dad, we've got that. We know what to do. You've showed us our whole life what to do. We can do the what. We can stop asking the why and we can do the what.
16:17 And it was really hard, but I was so grateful for the time, the opportunity to do it.
16:41 I think about careers and I think there's a what-why tie-in to work.
17:10 Sometimes being in a job can feel a lot like death. The end of a career or the end of a big job or an end of a relationship can all feel like a certain amount of death.
20:24 Perspective is a big part of it. Some people would sit in that room and just stop and cry and be so sad for loss, and my perspective is a different one — to find the joy and harmony and happiness.
21:47 Sometimes it's because we're putting so much energy into asking why, when sometimes we should just be asking what?
22:01 Some jobs you just don't get paid enough to ask the why. You literally are paid to do the what.
22:13 When literally all you are allowed to do and all you will ever do is the what in that job, maybe it's not the job for you. Maybe it's not the place for you.
23:37 There are times when, particularly in my last job, where I was paid to ask the why, and then they wanted to pay me to ask the what. And I did not want to do that.
24:35 If you can somehow figure out that there is going to be an opportunity to be at least part of the why, that's probably way more important than all those other things you typically look at.
25:29 Asking yourself those questions can be an important litmus test for figuring out where you are right now and where you want to go.
25:46 Are you in the right place? Are you working for the right person? Are you working in the right position? A lot of our frustration comes from wanting the why, but really only being able to access the what.
27:25 I knew the only thing that was going to help me get through was the what. That was all I had access to.
28:25 For the last three years, I transitioned from CEO, total why person, to doing the what.
28:36 I was actually thinking about the success that I'm starting to really see in the business. And part of it is that I am willing to do the what.
32:53 Knowing the difference between those two things and where you stand is the difference between standing still and moving forward.
33:19 I want to tell you that not only does your dad live in you, but I couldn't help but immediately think of all the people that listen to this podcast.
35:25 I truly believe that the universe is unfolding as it should. I don't mean that lightly.
36:46 One of the things that she said is it's okay to make room for not knowing. And that is what I've been doing the last six months.
37:14 A lot of people want to take the big jobs, zoom ahead, and I look at LinkedIn and think I'm probably the biggest loser on earth — but I'm doing exactly what I need to do.
38:01 It does not suck to be here. Even the hard stuff. It serves. I just continue to believe it.
38:20 Well, we love you. Thank you for sharing. Thanks for continuing to show up.
39:22 Invite a friend and expand their virtual universe because it's bold, it's badass, and it's basically better than drinking alone.
