Fear of Letting Go
As we come to the end of this three part series on overcoming fear I feel that today's podcast of Letting Go to be a big one, especially for amputees. Not that we all don't struggle with letting go of: the past, what we can't control, and toxic relationships, but because as an amputee myself I have seen and heard of so many amputees struggling with these three aspects of letting go.
For most of us, not living in the past is hard. We all tend to have some part of our heart in the past. Sometimes we fear that letting go of the past will also mean we will forget something that was beautiful about it. Memories stay but that doesn't mean that "living" there is a good thing, especially when we deeply miss some major part of it or, worse yet, can't forgive a transgression against us that happened in the past. I know several amputees who became an amputee due to a past wrong done to them: a drunk driver, a negligent driver that they were a passenger with, and those pasts NEED to be left there. I know I can't speak to this struggle as it is not my story nor my journey, however, I have talked with and watched the lives of people I have met that are dealing with this and one common thread amongst them is lack of joy and lack of healing. These are the people I have seen struggling with being an amputee, finding purpose, finding joy, and those who struggle to feel peace in their new place, struggling to feel good in their prosthetic and the fit, even not healing correctly or in a timely matter. Our minds are strong and can determine how we see ourselves and our lives, dictating how we feel and function. When we get stuck in a place of anger and blaming our circumstances on a past transgression, we aren't punishing the offender we are punishing ourselves!
Doesn't knowing this make you want to work at forgiveness, for the sake of our own lives? You aren't saying that what this person did to you and your life is OK, you are just letting yourself let go of the one thing that could be holding you back from recovery and living a healthy, happy life....Aren't you worth that? (I think you are!)
Another aspect is letting go of things out of your control.
So you're an amputee now. Now what?
Your limb is gone, and never growing back. Time to move forward. Learning to embrace where you are at in your journey is half the battle. You can't change what happened, but you can control HOW you handle it. If you sit and worry about healing, the prosthesis, the fear of being or not being able to walk again, etc, you are just going to stress yourself out and you are worry about something that isn't important right this minute. Stop, breathe, live for RIGHT now. Can you find something to be happy about, right now? I bet you can. Maybe it's that you survived, you healed well, you aren't on pain meds anymore. Maybe it's that you have a family that is there for you, a friend group who is surrounding you with love, support, and prayers. Maybe it's a pet that is glad you are home (they don't care if you have one less leg or not!) Perspective! Do you have it? You can't control something that has already happened to you, you can't control how long it will take you to heal, or if your prosthetist is going to be "the one". You can control your emotions, your outlook, your decisions. Start there, and let the Higher Powers that Be do their thing. If you spend your time worried and wondering how long before staples come out, how insurance might deny you, how long before I get a prosthesis that fits right you will be exhausted from all that worrying. That's not productive nor is it beneficial to your health (mental or physical). Learn to let go of the things you can't control and start dealing with the items within your control. You'll be surprised how happy you will be.
Finally, letting go of relationships. Now, as an amputee, and one who has been listening to new amputees talk about the...
