Adoption: Neither Rejection Nor Abandonment Could Stop God’s Adoption Plan
Introduction
The Lies We’ve Let Ourselves Believe
The Phrases of Abandonment and Rejection
i. “I’m not good enough and I need to be perfect or successful to be worthy of love.”
ii. “Everyone secretly hates me and no one wants me around.”
iii. “My emotions are too big to control, so I’m consumed by my anger and rage.”
iv. “I should feel shame and fear [about my life or life experiences].”
v. “I need to medicate the deep internal isolation/rejection I feel with [a physical stimulus].”
vi. “I have no worth beyond what I can provide.”
vii. “I’m a victim to circumstances I can’t escape.”
viii. “I cannot find rest in this world.”
ix. “No one else will ever understand me or what I’m going through.”
x. “I’m in competition with other people; there’s not ‘enough’ for all of us.”
What We Say About Ourselves Matters
i. Key Scripture: Proverbs 18:21 [MSG]
ii. There’s an enemy on the prowl
1. 1 Peter 5:8
2. John 10:10
iii. There’s an enemy on the prowl; he is looking to steal, kill, and destroy, but he has no real power over you. His time and power are limited and he’s looking for you to let him in. Your words can be his way in.
iv. Book Recommendation: Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left out, and Lonely by Lysa Terkeurst
v. We have to confront the lies we have allowed ourselves to believe. Jesus did not redeem you so that you can still be stuck believing that your temporary circumstances still define who you are.
BUT GOD!
Key Scripture: Ephesians 1:5
The Details of Adoption
i. Greek word transliterated into “huiothesia.”
ii. Huiothesia is derived from two Greek words: “huios” meaning “son” and “tithemi” meaning “to place, put, or set.”
iii. Huiothesia literally translates to “placing as a son.”
iv. Additional Scriptures where huiothesia is used: Romans 8:15, Romans 8:23, Romans 9:4, Galatians 4:5
New Testament View on Adoption
i. Roman adoption was almost always something that happened to an adult, not a child
Key point: You belonging, your adoption into a new family, was always the plan.
Scripture vs. The Lies We Believe
Lie: “I’m not good enough and I need to be perfect or successful to be worthy of love”
i. Scripture: Ephesians 2:10
ii. Key point: You’ve already been called a masterpiece; the worth is already there.
Lie: “Everyone secretly hates me and no one wants me around.”
i. Scripture: Psalm 139:14
ii. Key point: How can someone shaped by God Himself not be wanted? This is a voice that’s meant to draw you into isolation, don’t follow it…
Lie: “My emotions are too big to control, so I’m consumed by my anger and rage.”
i. Scriptures: Romans 12:21; Galatians 5:16, 19-21
ii. Key point: Hey, all emotions are valid, all behavior is not. The Spirit of the LORD can and will help you not be consumed by your emotions.
Lie: “I should feel shame and fear [about my life or life experiences]”
i. Scriptures: Romans 8:33-34; 2 Timothy 1:7
ii. Key point: It’s okay to leave behind fear and shame.
Lie: “I need to medicate the deep internal isolation/rejection I feel with [a physical stimulus].”
i. Scripture: Colossians 2:10
ii. Key point: You can’t find the healing and fulfillment you’re craving anywhere else. Every “solution” will be temporary (yes, even healthy ones) when they’re not paired with Christ. When we draw near to God, He draws near to us and this is where healing actually begins.
Lie: “I have no worth beyond what I can provide.”
i. Scripture: Romans 5:6-8(MSG)
ii. Key point: We, you and I both, had nothing to offer God. No skill, no talent, no resource, no activity He was interested in, no nothing. He thought and thinks you’re valuable in spite of that detail. We don’t need to beg for “scraps of His love” by presenting Him with our accomplishments, you already are loved and therefore have worth. Additionally, in relationships sometimes you will be the one giving help and other times you’ll be the one receiving it, but both times you still have the same worth!
Lie: “I’m a victim of circumstances I can’t escape.”
i. Scriptures: Psalm 71:20; 2 Corinthians 4:8-10
ii. Key point: Your suffering hasn’t gone unnoticed and while it can fool you into believing there is no escape, you are not destroyed. Turn your eyes towards God who has created an escape for you, so that with Him you may be able to bear.
Lie: “I cannot find rest in this world.”
i. Scriptures: Isaiah 40:30-31(NKJV); Matthew 11:28
ii. Key point: I want to point out that to grow weary is not a fault of yours; it’s not some defect exclusive to you…it’s okay to be tired. Even the youths get tired, but here’s the Good News: the wait is over. There’s a lighter burden available, but we need to see it in the spiritual. However, there is a choice to be made: we must choose to come.
Lie: “No one else will ever understand me or what I’m going through.”
i. Scriptures: Psalm 139:1-2; John 15:18; Hebrews 12:3
ii. Key point: Please excuse my sense of humor, but you’re not that special…There’s nothing new under the sun (Ecc 1:9); suffering is not unique to you, it’s the human condition. The LORD knows everything about you AND our suffering Savior knows exactly how you feel. You’re not crying out to someone who isn’t empathetic. His innocence met hostility and mistreatment, it’s not an experience unique to you…let Him comfort you.
Lie: “I’m in competition with other people; there’s not ‘enough’ for all of us.”
i. Key point: Maybe this isn’t one you’ve said out loud or even admitted to yourself, but I wonder if it has shown up in your behavior. Desperate for acceptance and successful relationships we begin to act out of scarcity. Seeing the success of others begins to make you feel like there’s now somehow less success available for you. The success of their relationship means there is now less opportunity for you. Now suddenly you’re in secret competition with the people you should be praying for. A scarcity mindset is unbelief and comparison kills joy. Be the best YOU because that’s who God made you!
ii. Scripture: 1st the admonishment — James 3:14-15
iii. Scripture: 2nd the truth – 2 Corinthians 9:8
iv. Scripture: 3rd the requirement – Philippians 2:4
v. There is a God who is big enough to see and provide for all of us and any statement otherwise is a lie from the pit of hell.
Still Room for Improvement
Key Scripture: Romans 8:1
Am I Part of the Problem?
i. Understanding your identity as a child of God doesn’t mean you just become a perfect person. Wearing a Kingdom identity well requires us to do some work.
ii. An Illustration from King David
1. Innocent David
a. Scriptures: 1 Samuel 18:28-29; 19:1-5, 9
2. Not so innocent David
a. Scripture: 2 Samuel 12:1-9
3. Two things can be true at once: 1) we can be innocent and be mistreated and 2) we can behave in ways that produce negative outcomes. We need to be aware of both.
4. Trauma shaped identities can cause turmoil in our relationships and result in people not wanting to be around us. This is not persecution; it’s the direct consequence of our undesirable behavior.
Fooled By Our Sin Nature
i. “God made me like this.” With love, He didn’t.
ii. Scripture: Psalm 139:23-24
1. God can (and will) reveal to us the parts of our identities that we have taken on that are not from Him. Sin has distorted our standard of right and wrong; this means it’s not safe for us to rely solely on our own thoughts.
iii. Scripture: 2 Corinthians 13:5
1. Genuine faith should produce obedience and faith and obedience produces Christ-like behavior.
2. We must repent, turn away from, and make amends when our behaviors cause harm or else we will never maintain and experience the fullness of relationship with others and this is a detriment to our spiritual family and our Kingdom assignment.
Conclusion: Taking on a New Identity
Key scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:17
i. There is no need to identify ourselves by our hurts, struggles, or failures. There is a more important title for you: An heir to the Kingdom of God. Here’s another one: Beloved Child of God.
ii. It has always been God’s pIan to welcome you home to Him. Please put on and live out your proper identity, the Kingdom needs its workers.
Closing Scripture: John 1:12-13
