As a highly sensitive person prone to anxiety, SO much of my life has been about trying to control my circumstances to make it easier for me to relax and feel secure. (I recently wrote about the connection between perfectionism and being a highly sensitive person, which you should definitely check out if you haven't.)
If I get too unconscious, I can still easily slip into feeling overwhelmed and out of control. But after reading this blog that I wrote 4.5 years ago, I realize I've come a long way, considering I don't relate to most of this anymore (at least not to the hardcore degree I was accustomed to back then).
At the time, I wrote about the daily struggle to cross everything off of my to-do list because I was in the thick of the struggle. Now, I share it with you in case you still are in the midst of that same purgatory:
Nine times out of ten, I feel instant anxiety when I wake up in the morning.
Most of the time, my daily to-do list starts playing on repeat in my mind before I’ve even consciously realized I’m awake. Which means that before I’ve even stood up, I’m feeling overwhelmed. Behind. Frustrated. Anxious.
And because I definitely don’t want to feel that way, the solution seems simple: Get moving, and get working so that I can cross off some of those to-dos and alleviate the pressure.
Which means, in an attempt to feel productive, I’ll open my inbox before I’ve even eaten anything. I’ll rush through my breakfast. I’ll be distracted while walking my dog, all so that I can get back home and start working so that I don’t have to feel anxious or behind anymore.
Half the time, I feel like I’m running a race, the theme song of which goes something like, “Once I get this done, then I can relax. And take a break. And breathe. And actually live my life.”
Except I’m wrong. So incredibly wrong.
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ENNEAGRAM TESTS
There are many Enneagram tests you could take, but here are two that we’ve both personally taken. Keep in mind that you’ll want to set aside about 45 minutes to complete either test:
Eclectic Energies Enneagram Test (free)
The Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (paid)
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