Todays question comes from a discussion between Tim and I as we realised that our teams avoid healthy conflict? Actually also that I sometimes avoid healthy conflict too..
Quick summary:
If I have a good relationship with the other person and I feel safe I have no problem to indulge in healthy conflict as I know that me and the other person will be ok afterwards. If I am unsure or feel unsafe its much harder.
Some things I try do to get better in every situation ...
- Agree how to disagree with those I find it difficult to have conflict with - it's ok to not have everyone's consensus
- I stop trying to present a united front if we made a decision where not everyone was in agreement. I share the disagreement and the reason why we arrived at the actual outcome.
- I am prepared to disagree in front of others but I make I keep it to a civil debate and approach it respectfully.
- Using different channels to be part of the discussion - some channels work better for me (or others) than others.
- Allow everyone to prepare properly - To avoid the nerves it might be better to write stuff down before hand. It also allows me (others) to be more specific.
- I practice debates about things that aren't directly work related to get me and other people used to conflict
- I need to learn to let it go after and if it happened to others help them to make peace
