What happens in the coaching space when the body tightens, the breath shortens, and the words become careful because something meaningful is at stake?
In this episode of the podcast, we explored what it truly means to coach nervous clients and why nervousness is far more than a surface emotion. From our perspective, nervousness is both physiological and psychological, a temporary state that signals uncertainty, risk, and often the presence of something deeply important to the client.
We reflected on how nervousness can show up even in highly capable, articulate, and senior leaders. It may appear as guarded language, rehearsed responses, or subtle somatic cues such as shallow breathing or tension in the shoulders. As coaches, we often sense it before it is ever named. We spoke about how nervousness can magnify automatic behaviours, pushing clients into protection strategies such as intellectualising, closing down emotionally, or striving to perform rather than authentically explore.
During our conversation, we noticed how easily a coach's own nervous system can become activated in response. When this happens, there is a risk of rushing, over reassuring, or moving too quickly into goals and action. We reflected on the importance of co regulation, slowing the pace, and allowing the client to arrive fully into the session before asking for depth, vulnerability, or clarity of outcomes.
We also shared personal experiences of nervousness within coaching and supervision, recognising how being seen in a new way can create an edge that feels exposing. This led us to discuss how ethical emotional coaching is not about fixing nervousness, but about staying with it, being curious about it, and allowing it to be explored as meaningful information rather than something to remove.
A key theme was the power of working somatically and relationally. Grounding, noticing breath, tone of voice, and subtle shifts in the body can create safety and support nervous system regulation. We spoke about gently naming what we observe, such as changes in pace or posture, and using this as an invitation to awareness rather than an interpretation.
Finally, we explored nervousness as a coaching topic in its own right. Whether a client is facing a difficult stakeholder, a career transition, or a significant conversation, nervousness can be an entry point into deeper beliefs, values, and identity. By coaching the emotion rather than bypassing it, clients can access a wider emotional range, including steadiness, empowerment, and confidence alongside their nerves.
Timestamps:
00:31 Understanding what nervousness looks like in coaching
01:01 Nervousness as a physiological and psychological response
03:45 Default protection strategies and emotional regulation
05:11 How coaches can become dysregulated too
08:21 Slowing down and focusing on the relationship
10:41 Grounding and somatic approaches with nervous clients
12:34 Using gentle observations to build awareness
14:27 Coaching nervousness as the topic, not something to fix
18:12 Emotions as signals that want to move and be understood
Key Lessons Learned:
Keywords:
coaching nervous clients, emotional coaching, nervous system regulation, co regulation in coaching, somatic coaching, confidence coaching, psychological safety, coaching emotions, leadership coaching, executive coaching
Links and Resources:
Emotions Coaching Practitioner Training: www.igcompany.com/emotionscoaching
