re Your Love Languages Transactional? Stop Keeping Score & Rebuild Connection in Your Law Enforcement Marriage
In this candid conversation, Cyndi and her husband explore how The Five Love Languages—once a popular relationship tool—can unintentionally turn into a transactional system of keeping score. They share humorous and heartfelt examples from their own marriage, showing how acts of service, physical touch, and words of affirmation can lose meaning when done for exchange instead of connection. Together, they unpack how law enforcement stress, shift work, hypervigilance, and independence can erode emotional connection. By reframing love languages from "I give so I get" to "I give because I care," couples can rebuild trust and closeness even through the challenges of first responder life.
Cyndi Doyle, founder of Code4Couples®, is a licensed professional counselor, author of Hold the Line, and retired police spouse who helps law enforcement couples reconnect, communicate, and thrive together—on and off the job.
📘 Get Cyndi's Book "Hold the Line" → https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews
🎓 Book Cyndi to Speak or Train → https://code4couples.com/training/
00:00 – Intro
02:15 – What are the Five Love Languages?
08:30 – When Love Languages Turn Transactional
14:45 – Law Enforcement Life & Emotional Disconnection
20:10 – Resentment, Independence & Keeping Score
28:30 – Hypervigilance and Emotional Exhaustion
35:20 – How to Reconnect Without Scorekeeping
43:00 – Mindset Shifts for Healthy Communication
46:50 – Final Thoughts + Resources
