Hypervigilance, trauma response, and emotional disconnection in marriage — here's what every law enforcement couple needs to know.
If hypervigilance has been spilling into your home life, this episode breaks down the biology, the patterns, and how to reconnect as a couple.
Short Episode Summary
In this conversation with Lt. Garrett TeSlaa of The Squad Room, we talk about:
How hypervigilance in law enforcement families develops from chronic sympathetic nervous system activation
The shift from hyperarousal on duty to hypoarousal at home, and why it creates emotional distance
Why spouses often feel like they're walking on eggshells
The role of cumulative trauma exposure and control behaviors in daily interactions
Nervous system reset strategies, awareness practices, and the importance of community for long-term resilience
An inside look at Garrett's new personal development community for first responders
I'm Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®. I help law enforcement officers, spouses, and first responder couples stay connected, healthy, and resilient — on and off the job.
📘 Free Resource / Opt-In:
https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews
🎤 Book Cyndi for training, workshops, or speaking:
https://code4couples.com/training/
00:00 Intro
01:00 What hypervigilance really is
04:30 How the sympathetic nervous system affects home life
08:00 Hyperarousal vs hypoarousal explained
11:00 Emotional disconnection in marriage
15:00 Control behaviors and cumulative trauma
20:00 How spouses interpret shutdown and irritability
27:00 Nervous system reset techniques
33:00 Why community matters
40:00 Inside The Academy
48:00 Final thoughts and resources
