In this episode, a dual first responder couple shares how indirect trauma, cumulative stress, and critical incidents began impacting their marriage long before they saw the signs. You'll learn:
• how trauma shows up differently for each partner
• why nervous system overload can mimic "walking on eggshells" in a relationship
• ways spouses can validate without fixing
• how boundaries prevent emotional spillover
• why culturally competent counseling matters for law enforcement families
Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line, this podcast supports law enforcement officers, their spouses, and first responder couples who want stronger, healthier relationships.
📘 Grab Cyndi's book, Hold the Line, to protect your law enforcement relationship:
https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews
🎤 Book Cyndi to speak at your department or conference:
https://code4couples.com/training/
00:00 Intro: When direct and vicarious trauma collide
01:40 Meet James & Lisa: A dual first responder couple
04:00 How their careers shaped trauma exposure
06:20 Dispatcher trauma and the unseen emotional load
09:00 The incident that changed everything
12:00 When trauma symptoms surfaced at home
16:00 Asking for help and recognizing the warning signs
21:00 How trauma responses differ in each partner
24:00 Setting boundaries around what to share
28:00 Support without fixing
33:00 Validate, don't negate
36:00 Watching for seasonal and anniversary triggers
40:00 Rebuilding connection with intentional habits
43:00 How they "date" each other during busy seasons
47:00 Resources: PCIS, culturally competent counseling
48:30 Final advice for law enforcement spouses
