This show is all about having messy and sometimes uncomfortable conversations so that we can better understand each other.
This conversation scared me a little bit and challenged some ideas that I had. I think much of my fear of having this conversation stems from potential judgment by listeners.
However, I always leave these scary conversations more enlightened and empathetic for how others choose what works best for their lives.
Adrian Matthews is a relationship expert and therapist specializing in polyamory, open relationships, and consensual non-monogamy. He practices in RI and MASS, focuses mainly on consensual non-monogamous relationships.
Show Highlights:
- What is consensual non-monogamy?
- The relationship escalator explained
- What is constellation therapy and why does Adrian's practice include it?
- Exploring the gray areas that aren't normally talked about in traditional therapy
- Attachment is at the heart of the therapy relationship - a secure base is critical.
- Opening a relationship doesn't make the problems that exist go away.
- Are people who practice consensual non-monogamy more evolved?
- We all have needs in our lives that romantic and sexual relationships can't provide.
- 2 ways consensual non-monogamy looks in today's relationships.
- Why Adrian doesn't use the term ethical non-monogamy.
- Ethical non-monogamy is more aspirational in the therapy setting.
- The definition of polyamory
- What is solo polyamory
- Mono polyamory and when it is appropriate for relationships.
- Laying the relationship foundation for polyamory to work.
- Why Adrian does not guarantee outcomes in therapy.
- The importance of having conversations around consensual non-monogamy.
- 3 assumptions about needs that guide Adrian during therapy.
- Ways consensual non-monogamy can subvert the trappings of traditional patriarchal monogamy.
- Ways men are harmed by patriarchy
Connect with Adrian:
Amatthewscounseling.com
Esther Perel
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