On this episode of Brothers in Arms, Edgar, Eric, and Dr. Dan explore a topic that is rarely covered: domestic abuse against men. Edgar kicks things off by bringing in a question from a female viewer about how to leave 'the devil' behind, referring to her dead husband, who was physically and emotionally abusive to her. We consider how she can manage her internal experience to let herself hate him, while doing a good job externally to see the other sides of him, particularly where her eleven year old son is concerned, as he sees him as a hero of the police force. We talked about the importance of letting in the full reality with her son, however, as well, as he can also see multiple sides of his father and seeing the reality helps.
In Old News (Maybe From Yesterday), Eric brings the statistical heat, as we find out what the CDC numbers say about the frequency of men as domestic victims and all three Brothers are surprised. We talk about why men shy away from talking about these topics and link it, most primarily, to a sense of shame.
This leads us directly into Edgar 'walking the walk', and this episode is not for the faint of heart. He relates his experience of seven years in an abusive relationship with an ex-girlfriend and we explore the societal expectations that make talking about such things feel shameful and difficult. But Edgar also reveals that this perpetuation eventually got so dangerous that she attacked him with a knife. The scene is terrifying and Eric and Dr. Dan help Edgar to recognize why he doesn't remember those years so well and how much more processing this might take as we plan to explore it further in the next episode and beyond.
