In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most debilitating emotions we all experience: guilt. Guilt keeps us stuck, sad, and even sick—but what if we could flip the script? I explore how guilt shows up for the betrayer, the betrayed, and in everyday situations, offering actionable strategies to turn this "useless emotion" into a motivator for positive change.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
The Betrayer’s Guilt:
Why guilt is unproductive if it only keeps you stuck.
How to tie guilt to positive actions, like doing or saying something kind to your partner or children.
How guilt can serve as a motivator for growth and transformation.
The Betrayed’s Guilt:
Feeling guilty for revenge thoughts, rage, or anger during early healing stages.
Why you shouldn’t blame yourself for someone else’s betrayal.
How to process emotions without acting on them in ways you may regret later.
Guilt in Everyday Life:
Feeling guilty for enjoying downtime, indulging in a treat, or taking care of yourself.
How guilt tied to fun or self-care stems from old beliefs around worthiness and productivity.
Why giving yourself permission to fully enjoy life is essential to well-being.
Key Takeaways:
Guilt is often tied to worthiness. If you’re feeling guilty for taking care of yourself, ask why you don’t feel deserving.
For the betrayed: your thoughts and emotions are normal, especially in early recovery Stages. Give yourself grace and don’t act on impulses that your future self may regret.
For the betrayer: use guilt as a motivator to make amends and grow into a better version of yourself.
When you experience guilt, stop and ask: Is this helpful? If not, let it go or turn it into positive action.
Reflection Exercise:
Take a moment to notice when you feel guilty this week.
What triggered the guilt?
Is it tied to an old belief about worthiness or responsibility?
Can you use this guilt to inspire positive action—or is it time to let it go?
Final Thoughts:
Guilt is only useful if it motivates change. Otherwise, it’s just holding you back. Let’s work on replacing guilt with grace, self-compassion, and action that moves you forward.
Resources Mentioned:
The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough framework
The PBT Institute programs for betrayers and betrayed
Stay Connected:
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode!
Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi
The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.