With more and more dating moving online, how do we separate real honest people from those who are misrepresenting themselves and the outright scammers? Our guest today is Kezia Noble. Kezia is a leading female dating and attraction expert for men and author of the bestselling book The Noble Art of Seducing Women.
Kezia's company helps clients learn conversation skills and ways to overcome anxiety in dating situations. Starting in 2009, she has since become a YouTube sensation. She and her team have helped over 100,000 men to overcome a multitude of sticking points and limiting beliefs, and open their eyes to the skills, techniques, insights, and secrets needed to be successful in dating. She joins us today to talk about red flags on dating apps and how you can protect yourself from potential scammers.
Show Notes:
- [0:31] - Kezia is a Dating and Attraction Expert for men. She's been in this field for a decade and runs worldwide workshops.
- [1:10] - Kezia helps guys with their anxiety and builds confidence in being themselves when dating.
- [2:30] - Chris and Kezia discuss the impact Coronavirus has had on dating. Kezia is in the UK and there are fewer restrictions there now so people are back on the dating scene.
- [4:05] - Kezia shares the differences in men and women as targets on dating apps. It is easier to target men on dating apps than women.
- [4:30] - If a man suddenly receives many messages from a woman who is outrageously beautiful, it could be a red flag.
- [5:10] - Kezia doesn't use online dating because of the ease people have in lying online.
- [6:11] - Pay attention to the messages. Are they offering you everything you want to hear? Are they avoiding an in-person meeting?
- [7:00] - Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by excessive attention and affection. This happens a lot with online dating.
- [8:01] - When creating your profiles, you should be cautious when posting that you are looking for a serious relationship because it makes you appear vulnerable and more of a target for scammers.
- [9:42] - Kezia creates a scenario of what she would do if she were a scammer and how some scammers can be very clever.
- [11:28] - Chris shares a story about a previous guest who is a man in his 60's who has seen his photo being used as a dating app scam.
- [12:50] - If you have any inkling that someone you are messaging on a dating app is a scammer, Kezia recommends to drop a hint that you don't have money and see what their reaction is.
- [15:22] - Another trick is to reverse look-up a photo from a dating app. Download the person's photo and search for it. If it shows up a lot as a stock photograph or shows up with a lot of different names, it is a red flag.
- [16:09] - There have been situations of celebrities using dating apps and people don't believe that they are actually who they say they are.
- [17:27] - You should always be careful because people exaggerate online easily. This is also apparent on Instagram photos.
- [19:06] - Even if you sit there and think that you won't be scammed, if you are in a desperate situation, you'll convince yourself to believe something.
- [20:18] - The biggest red flag is when someone will never meet up in person with you.
- [22:17] - One simple rule to live by is to never lend money to anyone you have never met.
- [25:09] - Kezia is the type of person who is very vigilant and looks for signs of danger everywhere. This is mostly due to Kezia's job to notice behaviors.
- [26:17] - In Kezia's experience, there are awful and dangerous people on dating apps, but they are in the minority. Kezia says that most people on dating apps are perfectly lovely people who are there for the right reasons.
- [27:56] - Kezia personally does not use dating apps because she feels it is a time waster. She shares how friends of hers are exhausted from dating and that's not how it should be.
- [30:01] - Chris and Kezia discuss how curated social media is, specifically Instagram. Kezia doesn't want to waste the time posing and setting up photos that aren't authentic.
- [31:38] - Social media ten years ago was a fun platform to share photos, but now social media has changed into a curated and exaggerated pretense.
- [33:10] - Kezia believes social media is toxic because people are constantly fighting to appear perfect.
- [34:12] - Social media is highly linked to dating. It sets up these unrealistic expectations.
- [35:03] - Kezia believes that people are even staying in unhappy marriages for social media purposes. Their online life is too important to them.
- [38:04] - The biggest red flag is if the potential scammer avoids meeting you in person. People question this by thinking, "What if they really are too busy?" Kezia argues that if that is the reality, then your relationship with this person is also too busy to have a real relationship with you.
- [39:54] - Kezia's business helps clients learn conversation skills and learn how to look for the right person. Commonalities breed friendships but connections breed attraction.
Thanks for joining us on Easy Prey. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review.
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