When you’re pregnant, you’re bombarded with so much information about what you should and shouldn’t do that it can be hard to have a guilt free day when you can just think about what YOU want. So the last thing I want to do is to add to this cacophany of recommended behaviour during pregnancy, but I’d like to show you a slightly different perspective to things. Today’s podcast is NOT about all the usual stuff you’re likely to have come across. Instead I want to share with you some of the more subtler ways that your behaviour and actions affect your baby. Everything that I’m sharing with you is supported through research, but it’s information that rarely surfaces. It certainly didn’t in ALL the stuff that I read during both my pregnancies.. and I read A LOT!
So today I want to share with you how your behaviour during pregnancy can affect your baby, in ways that you may not have fully appreciated.
It’s widely known that alcohol and smoking are bad for baby, and one effect is that babies who are subjected to a smoking and drinking mum are underweight and this is probably due to the fact that alcohol and cigarettes are known to suppress they appetite. But, what’s not always known is exactly what happens to baby when you drink. LIKE THE MOMENT that you’re drinking! Hearing the words suppress their appetite it can be easy to brush that comment aside.. we lose our appetite sometimes right? no big deal! But let me shed a bit of light on what is going on… it might make you change your mind about that cheeky glass of wine…. and no I’m not one for piling the guilt on here, you know me by now.. it’s about being conscious and mindful in our actions…..
Alcohol causes a baby to stop liquid breathing. Yep!
There was some research whereby mothers drank a shot of vodka. Once the mother had ingested the vodka, the baby stopped breathing. The baby would only start breathing again once the alcohol had cleared itself out of her system. For one shot this might be for just over an hour. I never realised this when I was pregnant and I think if I had known that they STOPPED BREATHING (!) then I would have completely stayed off alcohol. Not that I drank much as I couldn’t stomach it, but still. Who knows what kind of long term impact it has on your baby if he or she not breathing for a a few hours. So now when we go back to that phrase.. suppressing the appetite.. perhaps it's probably due to the fact that they’re no longer taking in nutrients through the amniotic fluid because they’ve stopped liquid breathing.
When it comes to smoking, this actually makes them breathe faster… probably so that they can get more oxygen from you. It also suppresses their appetite.
Alcohol can be pretty damaging around the time of conception too; If you’re drinking around the time of conception, then it can lead to an increased risk of malformations in the eyes, ears, lips, head and face.
We are all very much aware that our diet is super important when we’re pregnant, so I’m not going to dwell on that. The bottom line is the healthier our diet during pregnancy, the better for both mum and baby. But what about just before you become pregnant? There’s mounting evidence to support the idea that your diet before and around conception is also hugely important for your baby’s growth and development. There are 2 studies that shed more light on this; the Dutch Hunger/Famine study http://www.hongerwinter.nl/item.php?id=33&language=EN which shares the effect of famine on the mother and their babies, and more recently a British study in Gambia which shows the stark difference between babies born at differing times of year in terms of their life expectancy. Importantly in this last study, one of the key reasons in the difference was the diet available to the mothers during their pregnancy due to them living off the land and eating seasonally available food.
Researchers believe that babies start hearing at around the 18th week and by the 28th week the baby’s responses to sounds are so consistent that they’re extremely confident that interactive hearing is taking place. There’s a story about a woman who went to a heavy metal concert and her baby kicked so hard in protest that she had to leave the gig and later discovered that she had a broken rib! Another mum has shared that she had to leave the cinema when within a film about the Vietnam war, and another complained of intense kicks while watching Raiders of the Lost Ark…. Essentially, babies don’t like loud, thumping sounds.. they like calming, gentle sounds.
What you feel, they feel. If you feel anxious and fearful, so will they. If you feel joy and happiness, they will too. The thing is if you’re mostly feeling the negative emotions then they will prepare themselves accordingly as from their perspective, they are about to enter a world that is fearful, stressful.. Physically, they are growing in a more acidic and toxic environment due to the high levels of cortisol that will be circulating your system.. this can impact their growth and lead to a number of health challenges. There is quite a bit of evidence that shows that stressed and anxious mothers are more likely to give birth to babies with eczema, asthma and hayfever and allergies. LINK TO EVIDENCE
They know your inner thoughts… it doesn’t mean they think them, but they KNOW them... it’s like a radio for them... whether or not they adopt those thoughts is something else. Let me just share a story with you of someone I worked with recently. She came to me asking for help with her little 3 year old daughter. Her daughter was a very fussy eater and when presented with food at home, would never eat it saying that she couldn’t. At nursery she would eat, but at home she wouldn’t.
In my initial chat with the mum to try and understand the situation a bit better, I asked her about her pregnancy. She said that it was pretty good apart from the morning sickness. I asked her to tell me a bit more about the kind of thoughts she would typically have in relation to the morning sickness. "Oh well, I couldn’t eat anything!” It was horrible, it lasted ages in my pregnancy.. but basically I could’t face eating anything.” Now isn’t that a coincidence? In the time that she spent in her mummy tummy, the little growing girl had learned that around mum, you can’t eat food. As a foetus, she wouldn’t necessarily be able to compute the why.. she would simply be aware of the constant thoughts flooding her mother’s mind. This is where babies learn about the environment they are going to be born in, and they prepare themselves accordingly for survival. No wonder she didn’t eat at home, but ate at nursery… there was no issue with food at nursery.
Another aspect that I feel I ought to shine a light on here as it’s pretty important; they pick on how you feel about them. So if you’re pregnancy is an accident as opposed to a deliberate act of conception, then they KNOW. If you keep thinking and saying things like I don’t want this baby.. they will know. If when you discover that you’re pregnant it’s a bit of a shock or surprise, and that you may have entertained those thoughts and feelings. Take some time to speak to your baby to let them know how loved and wanted they are.. when you’re ready and able to of course. It’s important that your baby is marinaded in love and desire. It’s these emotions that create an environment for them to thrive - whether inside or outside your tummy.
The other sounds that is really important for babies is the sound of their mother’s voice, OBVIOUSLY! French hearing pioneer Dr Alfred Tomatis, explains that babies’ ears are more attuned to high pitched sounds that low pitched sounds… this is one reason why dads needs to make an extra special effort to speak to baby - go up close the the bump, speak a bit louder, raise the pitch of their voice etc. But back to mum… it’s worth being aware that your baby hears your voice ALL the time. Dr Tomatis advises mums to be aware of the impact their voice might have on their baby; if they have high, shrill, alarming voices, then the baby may learn to dread the sound of their own mother’s voice. Whereas a calm, soothing voice will be much more pleasurable for your baby.
Given that your baby is aware of your thoughts and feelings, it’s not too far a leap of faith to accept that they will understand you when you speak to them. But, do you speak to them? Speaking to your baby is a lovely way to connect and create a bond with your baby. And if you do so by assuming that they DO understand then it can help you to feel less silly. I used to speak to both my babies while they were marinading in me and because I believed that I was being listened to and understood, it added a whole new dimension to the dialogue. I say dialogue because I would have conversations and my daughter’s responses would almost just show up in my mind… who knows where it came from but I never questioned it.
I hope that this list encourages you to think about your behaviour during pregnancy, but I certainly don't want to lay a load of guilt down at your door.
