Birth preparation is a huge part of preparing for a positive birth. Lots of women don't appreciate why doing birth preparation is so important with many leaving it last minute. The truth is if you want to stack the odds in your favour when it comes to having a positive birth experience, birth preparation is essential.
The thing is, birth preparation can seem like this huge overwhelming task, so it's understandable that many shy away from it or procrastinate. To help you I'm going to talk you through what I believe are some of the most important elements of your birth preparation.
Preparing for your birth means that you're saying no to the "winging it" birth plan. For the record, "winging it" or "going with the flow" is NOT recommended and is more likely to lead to a difficult birth;
I don't know about you, but they are good enough reasons for me!
So, in no particular order, here are some of the important steps that I think you need to include in your birth preparation.
How can you prepare if you don't know what you want? So this bit is super important. Think about what you DO want and what you DON'T want when it comes to your birth.
If you're going to prepare for something, then it's important to know what you're preparing for so that you improve your chances of getting it. This means going all crazy on the details. So even though you might have things clear in your head in terms of what you want - you still need to plan for various eventualities.
With birth, nothing is guaranteed, which is why it's also worth preparing for plan B and maybe even plan C.
The reason why I want you to prepare for the birth you don't want is so that you do your homework on it. This does two things;
Having a load of negative emotion around your plan B will not be very helpful for you on the day if your birth ends up going that way. Being prepared means that you will be able to change tack without getting all stressy on the day, which would be no good for the hormonal cocktail that keeps labour moving.
So you see; being clear AND savvy on both birth options is important work! Start seeking out the information you need that will support your birth choices.
Who do you want at your birth? Your partner? Your mother? Friends? Doula? Photographer? Are they are fully briefed and "on the same page" as you?
Pain relief: do you know your options and consequences of their use? How do you feel about accepting pain relief? Does this carry emotional weight? What pain management strategies would you like to adopt?
What methods would you consider to induce labour if required? At what point would you accept an induction? Do you know which methods you'd accept?
Now that you're clearer and a bit more savvy about this whole birth lark, you're in a much better position to tune into any fears you have. My experience tells me that fears around pregnancy and birth usually fall into one of two categories;
Maybe you don't have any. Early on in pregnancies, this is possible but it may well be because you're not fully aware of them yet. If you're feeling confident and excited, that's brilliant. But don't make the mistake of denying that you have any fears or pretending that you don't have any.
Be open to explore this as soon as possible. If you dig for them and don't find any, then even better. But the last thing you want is for them to pop up in the weeks before you're due because then you'll have nearly no time to sort them out.
Perhaps you started with some fears, but now that you're a bit more savvy, you're feeling less fearful. Or maybe not! Whichever it is, it's important to give this some focus so that you put some effort into sorting this out.
Going into your birth with fear is not a good thing because fear has a direct physiological impact on your birthing body;
As you think about your birth, what fears are you aware of? When you tune into your fears, do they feel strong? Do you notice them in your body?
What is contributing to your fear? Friends or family sharing stories? Things you've read?
There are always two sides to everything. I talked about fears, well the flip side to that is confidence. They both affect each other; the more you have of one, the less you have of the other, so we're going to help you to tip the balance and stack the odds in your favour.
Find ways that you can boost your birth confidence. No matter how you feel about birth, feeling even MORE confident about it can only help.
Your level of confidence going into your birth is crucial, so finding ways to boost your birth confidence is an important step. This will differ for everyone but might include things like;
The great thing about many of these is that they're free. But, they do require persistent action.
Think about how confident do you feel RIGHT NOW? What thoughts do you have around birth? How does birth and motherhood make you feel?
What has the potential to sap your birth confidence? Fear? Lack of support? Lack of knowledge? Lack of encouragement?
One thing that will help you to boost your confidence going into your birth is having a bunch of tools you can use to help you cope with what's happening and to stay in your birthing bubble. This applies no matter what kind of birth you're working towards.
The most obvious thing that people want help with is pain management. The thing is, pain is as much as a mindset thing as it is a physical thing, and when it comes to birth, this is even more so.
With a lot of these techniques, you will need to practise using them. It's when you have confidence in your techniques that you boost your birth confidence. They need to be second nature to you on the day so time spent practising is worth it. And remember, it's not just you who has to prepare in this way; your birthing partner needs to too!
I'm going to break this down a bit, so that it's easier for you to find things that can help you;
Pain management techniques are the most common ones that are worth doing your homework on as there are quite a few for you to choose from. Acupressure and massage can be really helpful for pain and is an ideal way for your partner to get involved and feel like they have an important role.
Being relaxed will help you to manage the tension that may arise which in turn will help you to minimise the pain. Things can help you to relax include breathing, listening to music or hypnosis tracks, or applying pressure on acupressure points.
This is more about helping you to keep your mind clear of fear and focussed on the birth. The aim here is to minimise mental chatter and negative self-talk, but be clear of emotion so that you can tune into your body. Having some fear-clearance or positivity boosting techniques will help to boost your confidence. Breathing can also help you to keep your mind clear.
