The last chapter was painful. Looking at “what” types of sexual win you struggle with is hard. This chapter will likely be equally uncomfortable as you examine the “extent” of those sins.
Unless you acknowledge the breadth and impact of your sexual sin, your efforts at change will be limited to the most overt and recent sins. Omitting this step also results in rooting your efforts at change in the powerful emotions you feel (shame in a “bad” moment; relief or pride in a “good” moment) rather than the reality of your history. Neither sincerity nor shame will sustain lasting change. You’ve probably already experienced that many times, if you slowed down enough to acknowledge it.
“Every Christian guy who looks at porn wants to stop, but many of us want to stop just a little bit less than we want to keep going… Here’s a promise. You will never stop until you begin to see the monstrous nature of the sin you are committing. You will never stop until the sin is more horrifying to you than the commission of the sin is enjoyable. You will need to hate that sin before you can find freedom from it (p. 17).” Tim Challies in Sexual Detox
In this chapter, you will be asked to examine three areas of your life.
The examination that you do in this chapter will be foundational for the effectiveness of the coming chapters. You will come to know yourself in a way that you have probably avoided. You will come to know your history in a way that will allow you to let others know you (especially your spouse, if married) in ways you have hidden. You will come to know other people in your life as real people as opposed to objects of pleasure to be exploited or sources of rejection to be avoided.
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