Guiding Question:
What is a husband really called to be—and how does a man step into that role with confidence and clarity?
Summary
Description:
Robert Lewis delivers a deeply practical and inspiring message on biblical manhood and marriage, focusing on Ephesians 5:22–33. Speaking directly to married men—but also with applications for single men and parents—Lewis explains what it means to be the “head” in a marriage. Far from a model of dominance or superiority, biblical headship is a call to Christ-like leadership through love, guidance, and provision.
He highlights three essential roles every husband must embrace: being a lover, a standard bearer, and a provider. Each role is unpacked with vivid illustrations, cultural observations, and personal reflections. Lewis also explains the modern confusion around headship and submission and offers a redemptive vision for how those principles create health and strength in marriage.
Lewis appeals especially to men to gain direction—not domination—and calls fathers to pass this vision on to their sons. He ends with practical steps for husbands to engage their wives more deeply, starting with discovering their love language.
Outline:
The Challenge of Modern Headship – Cultural confusion, resistance to submission, and the loss of clear direction.
Setting the Context – Marriage as a sacred calling for men; not superiority, but responsibility.
Perspective Check:
Men need clear direction to thrive.
Headship in Scripture is modeled after Christ, not power.
Submission is space for responsibility, not oppression.
Neglectful husbands push wives into damaging fallback roles.
Three Best Practices for Husbands:
Lover – Show your heart, connect emotionally, learn your wife’s love language.
Standard Bearer – Hold up God’s Word, protect the home morally and spiritually.
Provider – Enable your wife to become all God intended, including financial provision where possible.
Why Respect Comes Last – True respect from a wife is earned through a husband’s consistent, sacrificial love.
Sociological Backing – Contemporary studies support biblical principles for husband roles in happiness and stability.
Applications:
Fathers teaching sons.
Single men embracing these roles as preparation.
Married men identifying their weakest area and taking steps to grow.
Key Takeaways
Biblical headship is about responsibility, not rights—modeled after Christ, not culture.
A husband must actively love, lead, and provide for his wife to foster a healthy and joyful marriage.
Emotional connection is vital; husbands must learn and act on their wife’s love language.
Leading spiritually means holding up the Word as a guide and guard for the home.
Providing includes enabling a wife’s calling—financially and otherwise.
Respect from a wife is the fruit of a man’s sacrificial, consistent love.
These roles must be taught to young men early; most flounder without vision.
Scriptural References
Ephesians 5:22–33 – Roles of husbands and wives in marriage.
Genesis 2:24 – “Leave and cleave” foundation for marriage.
Genesis 3:1–6 – Adam’s failure to lead as standard bearer.
Proverbs 29:18 – “Without vision, the people perish.”
1 Peter 3:7 – Husbands live with their wives in an understanding way.
Recorded 3/4/07
