Episode 79: Jenna Filipkowski (Psychologist/Soccer Mom)
🎙 In this episode: I sit down with Jenna Filipkowski, a youth soccer parent and psychologist who offers a refreshingly honest look at the youth sports landscape. Jenna admits she never loved soccer growing up, becoming a “professional soccer mom by happenstance.” Together, we explore how quickly youth sports become intense, expensive, and all-consuming, why parent behavior on the sidelines would be considered wildly dysfunctional in a normal workplace, and how social hierarchy, information gatekeeping, and fear of missing out quietly shape the youth sports experience. We also talk about the unexpected beauty of it all—and how, done right, sports can create a lifelong bond between parent and child.
🔹 A Soccer Parent by Accident
Jenna didn’t grow up loving the game but found herself fully immersed once her son started playing.
🔹 The “Vibe Checker” Role
Rather than focusing on tactics or technique, Jenna embraces being the supportive manager and emotional temperature-checker.
🔹 Drinking from a Fire Hose
Youth sports offer incredible benefits, but the intensity, cost, and commitment escalate fast.
🔹 When Soccer Dominates Family Life
Jenna estimates that more than 50% of daily conversation with her spouse revolves around youth soccer.
🔹 The 5:30 Practice Puzzle
Making it to practice requires near-perfect logistical alignment and parents feel it every weekday.
🔹 Why It’s Still Worth It
Watching your child improve, love something, and have big moments makes all the stress feel meaningful.
🔹 Kid-Centered… but Parent-Blind
Youth sports revolve around kids, yet often ignore the realities of working parents and family schedules.
🔹 Sidelines as a Psychological Case Study
From a psychologist’s lens, much of the behavior we normalize on the sidelines would be labeled toxic in any workplace.
🔹 The Social Hierarchy of Teams
Star players, inner circles, and “power families” shape team dynamics more than we like to admit.
🔹 Information Is Currency
Gatekeeping knowledge about clubs, teams, and opportunities becomes a quiet form of power.
🔹 Fear, Panic, and FOMO
Parents worry about falling behind, missing opportunities, or making the “wrong” choice in an opaque system.
🔹 Presence Over Perfection
Despite the chaos, youth sports can be one of the few places parents are fully present and deeply connected.
🔹 A Lifelong Bond—If You Let It Be
Handled well, youth sports don’t end after the final whistle—they can become a positive, shared language well into adulthood, starting with the car ride home.
