**Podcast Episode Notes for "Operation: Thriving Marriage"**
**Episode 72: Can I Still Be Friends With My Ex?**
**Introduction**
- Is it possible or wise to stay friends with an ex? How do different people feel about maintaining such relationships, especially within the context of a marriage? In today’s episode, we’ll dive into these questions, explore the complexities of relationships with exes, and discuss how they can impact your marriage.
**The Problem: Almost Everyone Has an Ex**
- Whether it’s someone you dated before marriage or a former spouse after divorce, ex-partners often linger in the background.
- Feelings toward exes vary widely—from intense dislike to lingering affection.
- These relationships are inherently different from other friendships because they once involved romantic or sexual intimacy.
- This unique history with an ex can influence how your spouse perceives that relationship.
- If children are involved, the situation can become even more complicated, which we will address later.
**The Solution: Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?**
- There is nothing in Scripture that forbids maintaining a friendship with an ex. The common Christian marriage vow to “forsake all others” refers to sexual exclusivity, not friendships. Hebrews 13:4 emphasizes the importance of maintaining sexual purity in marriage.
- While the Bible does not explicitly prohibit friendships with exes, maintaining a *close* relationship can be unwise for several reasons:
- It may make your spouse feel undervalued or less unique.
- Spending time with an ex could rekindle old feelings, leading to potential problems.
- Ask yourself: Why do you want to stay in touch? Are you looking for something from your ex that should come from your spouse? This is a crucial conversation to have with your partner if that’s the case.
**Co-Parenting With an Ex**
- Co-parenting presents a unique dynamic. Maintaining a healthy relationship with your ex is essential for your children’s well-being.
- However, it’s equally important for all parties—your spouse, children, and ex—to understand that your current spouse takes priority in your life.
- If you’re a step-parent, supporting your spouse’s healthy co-parenting relationship with their ex is crucial for the success of your blended family.
**Conclusion**
- There’s no biblical mandate to cut ties with an ex, but it’s wise to carefully evaluate the nature of that relationship. Maintaining a strong, healthy marriage means putting your spouse second only to God. An ongoing close relationship with an ex could create unnecessary tensions or even harm your marriage, unless co-parenting requires continued interaction.
Keywords: Friends with exes, marriage advice, Christian marriage, staying friends with an ex, co-parenting with ex, biblical view on ex-relationships, maintaining marriage, forsaking all others, step-parenting, marriage and exes.
