Leaving a narcissistic friend can leave your nervous system on edge—even if your mind knows you made the right call.
In this Thrive in Five, I’ll walk you through a quick somatic tool to:
✨ Ground yourself in the moment
✨ Release tension + melt stress away
✨ Remind your body it’s safe to choose peace
💜 Work With Me 1:1 – One Month: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a Breath Queen. This one's for you. Today's Thrive Thrivent five is exciting. I'm really excited about this. It's a somatic tool for leaving a narcissistic friend. You're like, why is that exciting? I wish I had known the somatic aspects of this when I had a narcissistic friend that I left because it can really do a number on you. So leaving a narcissistic friend can be more challenging than you might expect. Your body feels the loss before your brain fully processes it, and the body remembers as we know. But today, I'm going to give you a quick somatic tool that you can use anytime that guilt or anxiety, whatever the ick feelings start creeping in. So the first step is grounding your body. So you can sit or stand with both feet flat on the floor and you feel the weight of your body pressing down. You're concentrating on that weight like roots growing into the earth. You're feeling them really weighing down, melting into the surface below them. The second step is orient to safety. So this is slowly turning your head to the right, slowly turning your head to the left. If you want to look up, down, just really slowly looking around being aware of your surroundings.
(01:50)
And when you've done that, you can name three things you see in the room or whatever space you're in, that feel either neutral or pleasant, right? So let me look around. I have this sparkly bag I just love, so I'm going to say rainbow sparkly bag, and it gives me a little lift, right? I'm going to look, Ooh, coral nail polish. Yes, queen. Love that color gives me big old joy. What else do I have in? I have my crown because I'm a queen. There's my crown, right? So orient to safety and you're noting things. This takes, it's like a distraction tactic in a way, but also you're uplifting yourself by looking for things that are at least neutral, if not positive things that bring you joy. Step three, soften those shoulders and your jaw, right? Narcissistic friendships can keep you in tension mode if you didn't notice, and it's time to detent ourselves.
(02:58)
So you exhale, do the inhale when you exhale, it's that exhaling drop, right? When we do our breath work, inhale, when you exhale, you let everything just kind of, I don't know. Today's theme is melting. Let's just melt everything, okay? And unc unclenching the jaw. You can even have the slack jaw where you might look real dumb, but nobody's watching right now. Okay, you're fine, you're good. Number four, self anchor with touch. So you could place a hand over your heart and the other over your belly. That's a very common yoga slash meditation stance, right? Keeping it there and feeling the warmth of your hands, the weight of your hands, letting them melt into your body. And this is not just comforting, but it's also you showing up for yourself, which when we've gone through narcissistic abuse, the self-trust can dissipate, right? So I'm like, yeah, I'm here. I'm here, queen, I'm here for you. I'm here for you self. I'm okay. And step five, repeat your permission phrase so you can tailor this to what you want, but I'll give an example and you can say it in your head or out loud. I'm a big fan of talking to myself out loud. I feel like it just imprints more. But you could keep your hands to heart. Whatever feels good. I am safe to choose peace, and I do not need to carry guilt for protecting myself.
(04:46)
Say it with your queen attitude. I am safe to choose peace. I do not need to carry guilt for protecting myself. When we say it out loud too, sometimes it helps us see how ridiculous that is. Why do I feel guilty for protecting myself? No, ma'am. Not in this house. No. All right. So those are five steps. Ground your body, orient to safety. Soften everything, melt it down. Self anchor with touch, and then repeat your permission phrase. I'm saying repeat it because you're supposed to say it more than once. Affirmations don't. Affirmations by now, if you do it for 21 days, you'll become a unicorn jumping over rainbows. It's true. So every time you feel pulled back into that friendship out of guilt or just habit even, right? You're used to this, give your body this reset. So save this episode. Somatic tools are not just for panic times either.
(05:53)
So whenever you feel like reclaiming your power, you could do this every morning. You could do this before bed, right? Any affirmations, any empowering stuff like this, you guys build it into your routine. Do it when you brush your teeth, you're already doing something there anyway. Just think it, because if you say it while you try to brush your teeth, it might come out like, I fish I carry. I go, no, that's a little crazy. But I guess we're a little crazy in here. Anyway. So in all seriousness, this is reclaiming your power, reminding yourself in your body, in your bones that it is safe to walk away our bodies. We've been conditioned to feel unsafe through the narcissist, and we're not here for that anymore. We're going to condition ourselves to be safe. Okay? So if you want to do deeper work, you can sign up for one month or three months of transformational, not just mindset work and talk therapy, but we're also doing the somatic body work because that combination is explosive.
(07:01)
If you have not listened to my rant about it in the last episode, go listen, you will learn more about it. But this is epic fascinating work. And if you want a true transformation, that's what you got to do. You have to put in the time and invest in yourself. And if you can't, that's okay. We have free shit like these podcasts. We have a free downloadable guide for boundaries, a little boundary setting guide. So I will link that free Facebook group. And if you want to truly customize your journey and a year from now say, holy hell, what just happened in a good way? Go click on the link to work one-on-one with me. There's two options, and for the three month, you actually have Voxer access in between our calls. These are once a week calls, and with the three month you get it's epic, okay?
(07:59)
You get Voxer access, which is a walkie-talkie app that I check at least every 48 hours, usually every 24, and we'll get back to you if you're just needing anything in between our calls. So that's a very popular choice for clients right now. These clients are ready to not just know how to navigate with the narcissist, that mindset stuff and all of that, how to deal this and how to do that. All the podcast stuff, there's some of that out there on the podcast. We can go deeper with the mindset work, but really they're ready for that body work too. To say, I want to recalibrate my body, my nervous system so that whatever comes at me, no matter what, I not just know what to say and do, but my body's here for it, and I will go in calm. I'm not going to get all of that stuff, all the anxiety, the swirling thoughts that is going to decrease monumentally. Okay? So if you're ready for that, I told you where I told you, it's in the show notes every time, all day, every day. So go sign up for either one month or three months and we will have a journey that will change your entire life. You're already a queen. You're going to be a queen with two crowns. Yeah, that's what happens at the end of it, you get two Crown Queen. Alright, I'll see you in the next episode. Have a beautiful weekend. Bye.
(11:54)
That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.
