Podcast Summary: Ghosting Unmasked
Presenter: Disree Shaw, Cognitive Behavioural Therapist
Podcast Series: The Shite People Do, Thriving Through the Chaos
Topic
This psychoeducational session, titled "Ghosting Unmasked," explored the phenomenon of ghosting, focusing on the perspective, motivations, and psychological dynamics of the "ghoster".
Key Themes Explored
- Definition and Dynamics: Ghosting is defined as disappearing from someone's life without explanation, representing a form of social control and dominance. It establishes a superiority/inferiority dynamic, with the ghoster assuming a position of control.
- Motivations of the Ghoster:
- Fear of Confrontation: Ghosting is often used to avoid difficult conversations and the discomfort of conflict.
- Self-Preservation: While sometimes framed as self-care, it frequently masks an avoidance of personal development, with the individual running from their own unhealthy behaviours and projections.
- Inability to Communicate: The behaviour reflects an inability to articulate feelings honestly, not just with the other person, but with oneself.
- Psychological Profile of the Ghoster:
- Internal Conflict: The ghoster often experiences feelings of guilt, shame, disgust, and anger, which they harbour internally.
- Narrative Creation: To justify their actions and cope with internal conflict, ghosters may create a narrative that demonises the "ghostee," reinforcing their own sense of being "right" and superior.
- Attachment Styles: The behaviour is linked to insecure attachment styles, particularly anxious-avoidant and preoccupied types, who are more likely to "run for the hills" when faced with vulnerability.
- Societal Normalisation: The podcast addresses the cultural trend of normalising ghosting as an acceptable social practice, which encourages blaming others while avoiding self-examination.
Psychoeducational Aims & Call to Action
- The session aimed to promote self-reflection among individuals who engage in ghosting, encouraging them to question their motivations and the impact of their actions on their personal growth.
- It highlighted that ghosting is an unhealthy behaviour that hinders the development of communication skills and healthy relationships.
- Listeners were encouraged to engage with further resources via the clinician's Substack subscription, which provides free and paid content, including course materials related to the podcast topics.
Plan
- The next podcast in the series will focus on the perspective of the "ghostee."
- A weekend workshop is planned to provide a deeper exploration of ghosting, supplemented with course material.
