The new year kicks off with a delusional dose of optimism. Bryan is deep in The Artist’s Way. Candace is cleansing her space with credit card purchased sage. Both are fully committed to believing they can leave last year’s negativity behind.
They also confront the slow death of language itself. Words no longer mean anything. Just ask Bryan, who says “literally” constantly despite being an avid reader. Candace, meanwhile, is on a full-blown thriller binge, reading anything that thinks it can outsmart Gone Girl with one more unnecessary twist.
Eventually, the two plug into Weapons and officially join the Aunt Gladys hive. A horror movie about addiction and generational trauma? Perfect. Basically just their childhoods, but with different jump scares.
But the real horror show remains our political circus. Trump is now talking about Greenland. Candace is quietly plotting her escape. Bryan is trying not to think too hard about a future without Sweetgreen.
