On this episode of The Happier Life Project, host Gabby explores one of the most common - and quietly painful - questions people ask themselves: "Why do I keep ending up in the same kind of relationship?"
Whether it's choosing partners who are emotionally unavailable, feeling constantly unsure of where you stand, or giving far more than you ever receive, these patterns rarely begin in adulthood. As Gabby explores this conversation, she uncovers how the ways we were loved, comforted, dismissed or misunderstood in childhood can shape what we believe we deserve, what we tolerate, and even who we're drawn to without realising it.
To unpack this deeply human topic, Gabby is joined by relationship therapist and anxious attachment healing & dating coach Erica Turner, who has helped thousands of people break free from unhealthy relationship cycles and build secure, self-honouring connections. Erica specialises in supporting anxiously attached people who overthink, over-give and lose themselves in the pursuit of love. Her work has resonated with hundreds of thousands of people across Instagram and beyond.
Together, Gabby and Erica explore how parental wounds can quietly influence romantic choices long into adulthood and how many of us move through relationships on a kind of emotional autopilot; guided not by present reality, but by old, unexamined beliefs and conditioning. Erica breaks down the four attachment styles and explains why people with anxious attachment often feel drawn to partners who are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable or unsure. She also highlights the subtle red flags and emotional triggers people frequently dismiss, and why recognising them is essential for building healthier relationships.
Erica paints a vivid picture of what it actually feels like to date someone with a secure attachment style; the steadiness, the clarity and the absence of emotional chaos, and why that experience can feel both comforting and unfamiliar to anyone accustomed to relational instability. She also shares the pivotal moment that became the catalyst for her own healing journey from crippling anxious attachment, ultimately shaping the work she now does to help thousands of people feel secure, worthy and at peace, regardless of how someone else behaves.
Throughout the conversation, Erica offers practical guidance, powerful mindset shifts and compassionate insights into creating healthier relationships without losing yourself in the process. It’s a conversation that gently brings clarity to the patterns many of us don’t even realise we’re repeating, and one worth listening to if you’ve ever questioned your relationships. It may just help you see your relationships - and yourself - in a completely new way.
To download the My Possible Self App: https://mypossibleself.app.link/podcast
To follow My Possible Self on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mypossibleself
Erica Turner website: https://www.yourrelationshipreset.com/
To follow Erica Turner on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your.relationship.reset/
