Okay, friend, this one came out of nowhere.
I just got back from a cruise—senior trip with seven high schoolers—and somewhere between Mexico and deep conversations about critical thinking, something clicked. I spent days journaling about it, testing it, turning it over in my mind. And I knew I had to share it before I overthought it into oblivion.
Here's the short version: What if communication isn't actually a skill? What if it's just the visible output of a decision system running underneath…and THAT'S what's broken?
This reframe has shifted how I see every team I work with. Every leader who tells me "we need better communication." Every meeting that circles. Every decision that doesn't hold.
I'm still testing it. I'm still going deeper. But I wanted to bring you into the conversation now…because I think it's going to change how you see your team, too.
Let me know what you think. Seriously. DM me on LinkedIn. I want to hear if this lands the way it landed for me.
Teams aren't struggling because they don't know HOW to talk. They're making hundreds of micro-decisions in every conversation—how to interpret, how to respond, who owns it, who defers—and those decisions are running on autopilot, driven by whatever the internal system is protecting: approval, control, safety, being right.
What leaders see: "We have a communication problem."
What's actually happening: A team making fear-based micro-decisions in every conversation.
"Communication is just decision-making made visible. Change the decision-making, you change the communication."
Notice this week: When conversations circle or decisions don't hold, ask yourself—is this a communication issue, or is the team's internal system protecting something that's keeping them from owning the outcome?
Tami goes deeper on a related breakthrough: what clarity actually is—and why most teams think they have it when they don't. A new level of understanding that changes how leaders diagnose what's really happening beneath the surface.
The next time someone says your team needs better communication, ask yourself: Do they not know how to talk? Or is something underneath driving dysfunction that no script or framework will fix?
If your team keeps having the same conversations, the same meetings, the same conflicts—and communication training hasn't fixed it—let's talk.
Tami offers sample sessions of the Aligned Leader Series to get underneath the surface and diagnose what's actually driving the patterns.
→ DM Tami on LinkedIn (yes, it's really her—not a bot, not a team member) → Book a Aligned Leadership Audit (tamimariecoaching.com/call) l to explore what an upgraded decision system looks like for you and your team
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Thank you for being here, Friend. You are capable, you are seen, and you are ready to step into your calling. Choose joy until joy chooses you! 💛
