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There are many things under siege in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory—the audience, Steven Seagal’s credibility as a tough guy, his belt, and the statutory laws of wherever they filmed.

None of those equate to an entertaining action movie, nor should they describe the sequel to a pretty solid film of the genre.

Yes, this movie sucks. But, it did essentially end the silly notion that Seagal was anything more than the blowhard that he actually was. We can all thank it for that, at least.

Now, sit back, chop open an Oatmeal Porter from Highland Brewing, and hack that Apple Newton! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are knife fighting terrorists on a runaway train!

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