elly Roll drives by Drew t-boning Jacob Fatu (at least I think?) who is then greeted by people rushing past him to see Drew ripping Fatu’s windshield out and beating him. This is the beginning of Brad’s predicted Peter Griffin and the Chicken segment.
The Freebird MFTs took on R-Priest, and of course the Wyatt’s have to also get involved. At the end of the day, long after the follically challenged R-Truth got a hair cut, we have new Champs.
Danhausen was paid by Candace LeRae to cure Johnny Depressing of his depression, but then vanishes with the human money.
Fraxiom took on Motor City Machine Guns. Near the end of the match Candice LeRae gets involved and punches Frazer and Sabin rolls him up for the win and a smile and wink from LeRae. Maybe Johnny is now Johnny Cuckholding?
Randy Orton talks again…After that’s over he goes backstage and him and Cardona have an interaction where Orton calls him a mark and nerd for his action figures. More on that later.
Sami and Aleister Black have a match with Trick Williams at ringside. This devolves when Trick tosses his drink at Sami and with that distraction he gets back in the ring to be greeted by Black Mass.
Now, we begin to wonder if Vince is back with WWE as the dementia moment of the night begins. Jade Cargill calls out Rhea Ripley. After some verbal back and forth Jade leaves to be met with Michin (with her kendo stick) and B-Fab. Jade now has Rhea in the ring, and these two confronting her on the ramp. Then out of nowhere Michin and B-Fab join forces with Jade, surround the ring and beat down Rhea. THESE THREE WERE FEUDING LAST WEEK, JADE PUT MICHIN OUT OF ACTION FOR MONTHS! WHAT ARE WE DOING?
Miz tells us about his week since he was cursed. Danhausen tells him to mentor him and he can be uncursed, ladders fall at Miz.
We get another in the Carmelo vs Dragunov series. While another great match we need to give this some breathing room.
Kit Wilson is going to confront Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll and Kit have a slam poetry session where Kit makes fun of him losing weight and now he can see his dick again. Jelly tells him don’t worry his mother has seen it enough and he used to put his stomach on his mother’s back. Good times. Kit snaps, fight ensues. We’re getting them in a match in Pittsburg next week.
In the let’s reuse the same angle we did last week department, we got the Irresistible Forces taking on the Bella Twins (who invited Alexa/Charlotte to come to ringside and watch). At the end of the day, it breaks down and gets thrown out and this continues… 4 team match upcoming at Wrestlemania I guess.
And to cap off our night, we get another segment with Randy Orton. Calling out Matt Cardona after Orton had taken a phone call in the back. He talked to the caller and then said he’d fix the situation. Cardona comes out, they hug and then in Kevin Owens fashion kick to the mid section and stunner. Eventually Cardona gets beat up, even with security around. Orton gets a chair he already had in the ring, puts it around Cardona’s arm and after about 5 minutes of which Cardona could have removed it, Orton stomps on it. The Cardona house will be using the accessible parking for a while now with a broken arm and Chelesa’s broken ankle? If they can avoid Drew MacIntyre they’ll likely be somewhat safe.
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