If “stop doing that” isn’t changing behavior, try this: teach tiny replacement skills that actually build emotional regulation. In this episode, Nikki P sits down with board-certified behavior analyst Mandy Grass (The Family Behaviorist) to make the messy middle of parenting feel doable—using emotional intelligence and a “function first” lens to understand what your child is really communicating.
You’ll learn how to spot the function of a behavior (attention, access, escape), what to say in the heat of a meltdown, and how to hold firm boundaries without abandoning connection. We also cover sibling attention battles, why behavior often gets worse before it gets better (extinction bursts), and how to reduce parent guilt when you’re beyond capacity.
We cover:
- Function first: attention, access, escape
- Firm + caring scripts: “I’ll be happy to help when…”
- Replacement > reprimand (asking for help, waiting, taking turns)
- Siblings & competition for attention
- Coach later vs teach in the moment
- How to shape behavior in small, sustainable steps
If you’re juggling big feelings, tiny humans, and zero bandwidth—this one gives you realistic language you can use today.
Resources & Links:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Get connected with Mandy Grass, The Family Behaviorist
- Follow Mandy on Instagram
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
