Feeling isolated, ashamed, or torn about divorce? If you’re navigating transitions with mixed emotions—grief and relief, anger and longing—this conversation will help you name what’s true with more self-compassion, clarity, and peace of mind.
Therapist and author Oona Metz (founder of long-running divorce support groups for women; Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women) explains why stress can make reading hard, how community reduces shame, and the language shifts that soften guilt and stigma (like “parenting time” vs. “custody” and “family restructuring” vs. “failed marriage”). We also talk through identity shift after divorce, letting go of attachment, and practical boundaries with family (and an unhealthy ex) so you can rebuild without losing yourself.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to hold mixed emotions without self-judgment (and why nuance matters)
- Why shame loves silence—and how support groups create self-awareness and confidence
- A clear way to define what’s a safety issue vs. what you can let go
- Co-parenting boundaries that reduce anxiety, uncertainty, and decision fatigue
- The mindset shift from “who filed first” to “who left the marriage” (releasing guilt)
- How healing and personal growth start with small acts of agency (even fixing the faucet/door)
If you’re considering separation, in the messy middle, or rebuilding on the other side, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to do this without support.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Follow Oona Metz on Instagram
- Get connected with Oona Metz (with links to order her upcoming book)
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
