My guest this week is Tribe Member Jax - an educator who is passionate about her work and who has struggled with both alcohol dependence and burnout. One of those rare people who only ever has one Day One Jax found Tribe Sober one week into her sobriety and she's been inspiring and motivating our members ever since!
In this episode
- Jax was a late developer when it came to alcohol - coming from a non drinking family and mixing with a serious crowd who didn't drink alcohol was just not "on her radar" as she puts it
- Things changed when she got to her late 30's/early 40's. She found herself wanting an "extra glass" of champagne or wine when she was at a restaurant or a dinner party.
- Her non drinking partner noticed and remarked that she got quite "animated" - even argumentative by the end of the evening
- Then he came out with that line that so many of us are familiar with "why can't you have just one"
- Like the rest of us Jax of course tried to have "just one" and in fact there would be a little dialogue going on in her head as she got ready to go out along the lines of "I must just have one tonight"
- Like the rest of use that rarely worked out - I can still remember that sense of failure because I couldn't have "just one" or even "just three" in my case
- Thats why you need a sober community - you need people that would never tell you to have "just one"
- Join tribesober.com to learn to quit completely and then to go on and thrive in sobriety
- A worrying development for Jax was that she wanted to drink during the week as her habit escalated from occasional to habitual
- She began to love drinking alone which is a real red flag - moving from using alcohol to socialise to using alcohol to self medicate our stress
- She was still in denial and would never acknowledge her hangovers which she would write off as a "bit of a headache"
- As her career developed Jax found herself getting more and more responsibility - working 70 hour weeks
- This workload was a major trigger for Jax as it left her no time to refresh and recharge with hobbies and personal development.
- She fell victim to Burnout and her only respite seemed to be putting her feet up with a glass of wine
- Completely exhausted she could no longer find any pleasure in anything
- Jax withdrew from her partner and her friends, became isolated and drank more
- She felt a mix of despair and despondency and knew she would need to quit drinking - she researched into the subject of alcohol dependence and found Tribe Sober
- She discovered the power of community and just what it meant to meet people who understood her - they had been in exactly the same situation
- Jax didn't see her sobriety as a punishment, instead she saw it as an opportunity to change her life and to find herself again - a perfect mindset
- As Jax so rightly said - if we go into sobriety feeling sorry for ourselves and being annoyed with others for drinking then we are setting ourselves up for failure
- Day One of sobriety dawned and she never looked back - her first year of sobriety will be completed in December 2022
- Jax set boundaries with her friends - she took them out individually to explain her plans and they offered their support
- We agreed that it was best to be upfront with people and our tribe members often text their friends to explain they won't be drinking that evening
- Her first month was difficult with detox symptoms and her PAWS lasted several months.
- PAWS can include anhedonia so if you suffer from this please listen to Tribe Sober podcasts episode 55 when Dr Loretta Breuning will explain how to keep your happy brain chemicals triggered
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