Episode 30: Why the Holidays Trigger You: High-Functioning Codependency
A Christmas-day check-in: why the holidays feel extra overwhelming as we get older (and why “two weeks” is no longer a real unit of time).
How holiday expectations crank up nervous system stress—and why overwhelm isn’t just annoying, it’s biologically expensive.
What “high-functioning codependency” actually is (and what it’s not).
The sneaky ways codependency shows up: over-responsibility, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, fixing, caretaking, guilt when resting, and resentment after saying yes.
Why codependency is often a learned “stay safe and connected” strategy from childhood.
The mind-blowing reframe: codependency can look “selfless,” but it’s also (unintentionally) controlling.
How this pattern can bleed into everything: family dynamics, work, employees, decision-making, even driving.
The health fallout: chronic fight-or-flight → sleep issues, cortisol disruption, gut problems, burnout, emotional depletion.
Practical tools to start shifting it: awareness, body cues, morning stillness, boundaries, “Let Them / Let Me,” asking for help, and releasing emotion safely (yes… punch the pillow).
summary
On Christmas Day, Melissa and Jenette tee up a favorite throwback episode on high-functioning codependency—and why it becomes louder during the holidays. You unpack how so many women quietly carry the emotional weight of everyone else (family, friends, employees… random trucks behind them on the road), and how that “I’m fine” exterior can hide exhaustion, anxiety, resentment, and hormonal chaos underneath. The big message: this isn’t about blaming yourself—it’s about noticing the pattern, understanding why it formed, and practicing boundaries and nervous-system regulation so you can stop living like everyone else’s emotional support human.
5 big takeaways
High-functioning codependency isn’t neediness—it’s over-responsibility.
It often looks like “I’ve got it handled” while your body is quietly paying the bill in stress hormones.
Holiday pressure is a codependency amplifier.
More events + more expectations + more family dynamics = more chances to abandon yourself “to keep the peace.”
Your body gives you warning signals before you hit a 10/10.
Tension, buzzing, stomach flips, looping thoughts—those are early cues to pause, regulate, and choose differently.
Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re medicine.
Saying no, opting out, or doing things differently protects your nervous system—and your hormones, gut, sleep, and sanity follow.
“Let them” is freedom (and “let me” is your power).
Let people have their feelings. Let yourself stop fixing. Then choose what’s aligned for you—without the guilt tax.
Links and Resources:
📱 Dr. Mel's Social Media
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📱 Dr. Jen's Social Media
Instagram: @healthinmotionwellness
Facebook: Health in Motion Wellness
Website: www.healthinmotion-wellness.com
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