Episode Summary:
In this episode of Leadership Limbo, Josh and John turn the conversation inward. After several weeks focused on how to develop others, they explore the other side of the equation—how to be developed. Whether you’re a middle manager, senior leader, or individual contributor, your willingness to be coached, challenged, and stretched is the foundation of your growth.
The hosts unpack what it looks like to approach development with openness rather than defensiveness, curiosity rather than cynicism. They revisit the pursuer–distancer dynamic from previous episodes, this time flipping the lens: instead of chasing reluctant team members, how can you stop distancing yourself from the people trying to help you grow?
The conversation dives into the role of ego, exploring how skepticism (“they don’t understand my work”) and excuses (“my boss doesn’t develop me”) often mask insecurity or fear. Josh and John walk through ways to reframe these stories, run small mindset experiments, and re-engage in genuine learning.
They also emphasize humble curiosity—not asking questions to prove a point, but asking to discover something new. Alongside this mindset, they talk about the importance of advocating for what you need and building a collaborative relationship with your manager.
The episode closes with a seasonal reminder about gratitude—both expressing and receiving it—as one of the most powerful yet underused tools for sustaining healthy development relationships.
Key Takeaways:
- Being developed is a choice. You can’t control your manager’s skill level, but you can control your posture and curiosity.
- Watch for cynicism and defensiveness. Phrases like “they don’t get it” or “this won’t work for me” usually reveal ego, not truth.
- Run the reframe experiment. Instead of “my boss doesn’t care,” try “my boss might care in ways I don’t yet see.” Look for small evidence of their effort.
- Development is a two-way relationship. Managers can’t read your mind—advocate for what you need, clarify what helps, and initiate feedback loops.
- Model what you expect from others. You can’t give what you don’t possess. Showing up as a learner sets the tone for your team.
- Gratitude multiplies development. Leaders who express genuine appreciation build trust, retention, and resilience in their teams.
Listener Homework:
Reflect on your posture toward being developed.
- Are you open, curious, and receptive—or defensive, cynical, and closed?
- Identify one relationship where you might be distancing yourself from feedback or growth.
- This week, take one small step to re-engage:
- Ask a question instead of making an assumption.
- Invite feedback rather than waiting for it.
- Express gratitude to someone who has invested in your growth.
- Lean toward curiosity and connection—it’s where learning begins.
Resources Mentioned:
- How to Know a Person — David Brooks
The Coaching Habit — Michael Bungay Stanier - Humble Inquiry — Edgar H. Schein
- The Voice-Driven Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
- The 100X Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
- Conscious Leadership: The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership — Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, & Kaley Warner Klemp
