Leslie interviews Jill Savage, host of the No More Perfect Podcast, a creator of online courses, and the author of 14 books, including "No More Perfect Moms" and "No More Perfect Marriages." The episode dives deep into Jill's personal journey of resilience, redemption, and unconditional love in the face of a significant marital detour.
The Marital Detour and Learning to Love Unconditionally:
- Jill's husband, Mark, resigned from pastoral ministry after 20 years, a decision that initiated their challenging journey.
- The difficulties they faced during a church plant took a toll on both of them.
- Mark's personal struggles with self-worth and identity, stemming from his abusive upbringing, contributed to their marital problems.
- Depression had been a recurring issue in Mark's life.
- Jill describes the emotional detachment and emotional affair that strained their marriage.
- She reflects on God's call to love Mark, even when he seemed unlovable.
- Boundaries and saying "no" became essential components of her love.
- Jill turned to Romans 12:9-21 as her guiding principles during this challenging time.
- She aimed to honor Mark as an image bearer, despite his actions.
- Jill learned that love isn't always soft; it can also include firm boundaries.
- During their separation, Jill displayed grace and love, which Mark later acknowledged.
- Heaping burning coals on his head meant allowing him to see his own actions more clearly.
A Journey to Healing and Treating an Image Bearer with Honor:
- Jill shares how Mark's personal resurrection on Easter Sunday in 2012 turned their marriage and his life around.
- The concept of redemption played a significant role in their journey.
- Jill emphasizes that her journey was not about controlling the outcome of her marriage but focusing on who she needed to be in the process.
- Leslie highlights the importance of treating a spouse, even during a crisis, as an image bearer.
- Jill shares how she maintained honor and respect for Mark despite his behavior.
- Loving unconditionally often includes setting boundaries and holding the other person accountable for their actions.
The Unhumanable Love and The Power of Keeping Your Side of the Street Clean:
- Jill reflects on the term "unhumanable love" and how it became a central theme in her journey.
- She explains how this type of love is beyond human capability and can only be achieved through faith in Christ.
- Jill's actions and love towards Mark made him realize the depth of her love and grace.
- Leslie and Jill discuss the importance of maintaining personal integrity and avoiding retaliation.
- Focusing on one's actions and growth can lead to a clearer path to reconciliation.
- Jill shares personal anecdotes about times when she struggled with anger and imperfection during this process.
Conclusion:
- Jill's journey is a testament to the power of love, grace, and redemption in the face of marital challenges.
- The importance of maintaining personal integrity and heaping burning coals on the other's head is a valuable lesson.
- Healing and restoration require effort from both parties, but unconditional love can be transformative.
RESOURCES
Walking in Core Strength group coaching program: www.leslievernick.com/strength
Jill Savage: www.jillsavage.org
www.leslievernick.com
