Create Shared Meaning — Designing Your Next Chapter Together
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What if marriage wasn’t just about staying together—but about becoming something together?
What if your relationship wasn’t meant to simply survive the years, but to stand for something meaningful in this season of life?
In this powerful final episode of the Gottman Principles series, Lisa explores Principle #7: Create Shared Meaning—the practice of building a marriage rooted in shared values, purpose, rituals, and vision.
This principle brings everything together.
It’s not just about communication or conflict.
It’s about identity.
Who you are as a couple now—and what you want your relationship to represent.
✔️ What “shared meaning” really means in a marriage
✔️ Why meaning becomes essential in midlife and beyond
✔️ How relationships lose vitality when intention fades
✔️ The role of values, rituals, and roles in lasting connection
✔️ How to move from routine to purpose
✔️ Practical ways to rebuild meaning together
✔️ How all seven Gottman principles work as an integrated framework
✔️ What “Marriage Mastery” truly looks like in everyday life
Shared meaning is the sense that your marriage has a purpose beyond logistics.
It shows up in:
Rituals and traditions
Shared values and beliefs
Roles you play in each other’s lives
Dreams for the future
How you face challenges together
When shared meaning is strong, marriage feels intentional—not accidental.
Earlier in life, meaning often comes from raising children, building careers, and creating stability.
In midlife, those structures shift.
Kids grow up.
Careers change.
Time feels different.
Without shared meaning, many couples quietly ask, “Now what?”
This season invites conscious creation—rather than simply continuing the past.
Ask:
“What matters most to you now?”
“What do we want this next chapter to stand for?”
Examples:
Morning coffee
Weekly walks
Evening check-ins
Celebrating milestones intentionally
Rhythm creates meaning.
How do you want to show up now?
As partners, companions, lovers, adventurers, creators?
Naming roles reduces unspoken expectations.
Ask:
“What do we want more of?”
“What legacy of love do we want to leave?”
“What kind of marriage do we want to model?”
Shared meaning lives in the future.
Lisa shares how couples who centered their marriage around parenting can rediscover connection in the empty-nest season—by intentionally shifting from co-parents to conscious partners through travel, service, and new traditions.
Shared meaning isn’t found.
It’s chosen.
In this episode, Lisa weaves all seven Gottman principles into one integrated Marriage Mastery framework:
1️⃣ Enhance Love Maps
2️⃣ Nurture Fondness and Admiration
3️⃣ Turn Toward Each Other
4️⃣ Let Your Partner Influence You
5️⃣ Solve Solvable Problems
6️⃣ Overcome Gridlock
7️⃣ Create Shared Meaning
Together, they create a marriage that is intentional, resilient, and deeply connected.
Take time this week to reflect:
What does our marriage currently stand for?
What values do I want more present in our relationship?
What rituals would bring us closer now?
How do I want to show up as a partner in this season?
What shared dream feels ready to be explored together?
If you’d like help creating a conscious, connected partnership, schedule a Free Discovery Call with Lisa:
👉 https://calendly.com/lisaknellercoaching/discovery-call
📘 Recommended Reading
The Inner Work of Love: 10 Understandings for Lasting Relationships
👉 https://amzn.to/3HMYC2b
If you’ve enjoyed this series, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes focused on building love, clarity, and confidence in midlife marriage.
Until next time, Lisa sends you her love and encouragement for creating a marriage and relationship that brings you joy, comfort, and peace.
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