Building a better you through your life experiences. Take your past and learn from your mistakes. Grow, achieve and believe for it is already yours. You just have to do the work.
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WEBVTT
000:00:00.380 --> 00:00:04.680Welcome everybody. You are listening to reflect to redeem episode 101.
100:00:05.040 --> 00:00:12.163Why help you reflect to redeem your life. I'm your host Mentor Mel. And today's episode be something that everyone can
200:00:12.223 --> 00:00:14.940work on no matter the age or economic status.
300:00:15.260 --> 00:00:17.360And that is developing a better you.
400:00:26.280 --> 00:00:28.080So I was talking to a friend today.
500:00:29.000 --> 00:00:30.000and I realize that
600:00:31.520 --> 00:00:34.120What you truly believe?
700:00:34.920 --> 00:00:35.520you are
800:00:36.700 --> 00:00:40.880for instance if I believe
900:00:40.920 --> 00:00:43.020That and I mean not just I say.
1000:00:43.600 --> 00:00:46.300You know, I believe it. No, we are talking like
1100:00:46.820 --> 00:00:48.220It is in your soul.
1200:00:49.440 --> 00:00:50.540It is in your being.
1300:00:51.120 --> 00:00:52.720It is in you walk.
1400:00:53.240 --> 00:00:55.140The way you talk how you present yourself?
1500:00:55.900 --> 00:00:56.500all of these things
1600:00:57.940 --> 00:00:58.640when you
1700:00:59.240 --> 00:01:00.140Believe it.
1800:01:00.780 --> 00:01:03.980You can achieve it when you especially if you write it down.
1900:01:05.300 --> 00:01:06.900You write it down. You are just
2000:01:07.860 --> 00:01:11.560Signing your fate. This is for me. This is mine.
2100:01:12.340 --> 00:01:13.040One of my friends
2200:01:15.160 --> 00:01:16.560Really got in on her.
2300:01:16.960 --> 00:01:17.660today because
2400:01:18.860 --> 00:01:20.360I know what she can do.
2500:01:20.940 --> 00:01:22.340and I know what she's been doing.
2600:01:23.700 --> 00:01:25.500After this conversation I had with her today.
2700:01:27.380 --> 00:01:29.180She has the potential.
2800:01:30.100 --> 00:01:30.800to be very
2900:01:32.440 --> 00:01:33.940Very good. She's smart.
3000:01:34.980 --> 00:01:35.980She's smarter than I am.
3100:01:38.260 --> 00:01:42.660She can do it. but when you let others
3200:01:42.900 --> 00:01:43.700determine your worth
3300:01:44.800 --> 00:01:45.500determine
3400:01:46.180 --> 00:01:49.580What you can do what they feel you should have.
3500:01:50.400 --> 00:01:51.600Why you should have that?
3600:01:53.460 --> 00:01:54.860If you let them dictate.
3700:01:55.920 --> 00:01:56.520That On You
3800:01:58.440 --> 00:02:01.440When you let them dictate that on you then you become that.
3900:02:01.980 --> 00:02:04.780You listen, people will forever always.
4000:02:06.040 --> 00:02:10.540and for always have their opinion of you once you start believing that
4100:02:11.180 --> 00:02:12.480Is when you start to run into trouble.
4200:02:13.960 --> 00:02:15.160Especially if it's negative.
4300:02:16.080 --> 00:02:16.580like I
4400:02:18.980 --> 00:02:19.680Make it a point.
4500:02:21.920 --> 00:02:26.620To look at the better of a situation regardless of what it is. You don't get this job. Well
4600:02:27.660 --> 00:02:28.760What are ways you can better yourself?
4700:02:30.300 --> 00:02:32.600From this interview to the next interview.
4800:02:33.760 --> 00:02:35.160Become more technically sound.
4900:02:35.760 --> 00:02:36.560How do you do that?
5000:02:38.180 --> 00:02:39.880Do you touch things that?
5100:02:42.960 --> 00:02:48.360Especially the things that they questioned you on do you now go back and your notes? Okay. Let me write that down. I will.
5200:02:48.360 --> 00:02:50.520
5300:02:50.520 --> 00:02:51.120Do that.
5400:02:52.020 --> 00:02:55.220Next time I'll do some research on that and continue on.
5500:02:56.300 --> 00:02:59.000What are you going to do from the past time?
5600:03:00.860 --> 00:03:04.360To the current to make it better door to the Future to make it better.
5700:03:05.520 --> 00:03:07.820Especially if you did not get what you were searching for.
5800:03:09.720 --> 00:03:11.920a lot of times people get discouraged
5900:03:13.760 --> 00:03:21.380What type of great thing was achieved without actually doing the work. How do you you can't become the greatest player
6000:03:21.445 --> 00:03:26.160alive without actually getting your ass beat by somebody like you have to
6100:03:26.460 --> 00:03:27.060at that point
6200:03:28.600 --> 00:03:30.800You have to be disgusted.
6300:03:31.180 --> 00:03:31.880with loss
6400:03:32.580 --> 00:03:36.380To where you will do you do the work to prevent it from happening.
6500:03:38.120 --> 00:03:40.620Kobe Bryant Francis this man
6600:03:43.240 --> 00:03:52.237Have you some examples before Kobe Bryant rehearses rehearses rehearses his moves before even a game anywhere near a
6700:03:52.315 --> 00:03:55.340practice in or near a game. He himself.
6800:03:56.220 --> 00:03:57.120muscle memory
6900:03:58.600 --> 00:04:00.000greatest player
7000:04:01.460 --> 00:04:03.060to play whatever instrument
7100:04:03.440 --> 00:04:05.640When I tell you I play that you miss before.
7200:04:06.380 --> 00:04:12.080When I tell you when you play you have these runs that you got to like go through and you know, it's tough.
7300:04:12.680 --> 00:04:19.580What are you do you practice it over and over and over because at some point in time your fingers will now remember?
7400:04:20.380 --> 00:04:24.680That run without a problem. You will master that run.
7500:04:25.620 --> 00:04:28.320remember in a band marching band
7600:04:29.900 --> 00:04:31.500There was like 20 clarinet.
7700:04:33.920 --> 00:04:36.120Mind you I wasn't the best.
7800:04:36.780 --> 00:04:43.889When it came to play the clarinet, however, I can March my ass off. I was a great marcher. So when it came time in the
7900:04:43.949 --> 00:04:46.480music for there to be a good run together.
8000:04:47.760 --> 00:04:51.660My marching hey down.
8100:04:52.200 --> 00:04:53.800but now the sound
8200:04:54.280 --> 00:05:01.126We're trying to display the sounds of the Audis. They can't hear us. You know, why because there's only two people that
8300:05:01.184 --> 00:05:02.680can actually play The Run.
8400:05:03.400 --> 00:05:10.093What do I have to do to become on the level of the two people that can actually play actually practices thing to wear.
8500:05:10.150 --> 00:05:13.100This is now a not a choke moment, but oh I got this.
8600:05:14.920 --> 00:05:18.020That's how you have to view whatever struggle.
8700:05:18.940 --> 00:05:26.140That you are dealing with. Interviews now I'm solid like I'm not going to say I'm the best person ever. However.
8800:05:26.300 --> 00:05:28.700I like conversing with people. I like talking to people.
8900:05:31.400 --> 00:05:37.900Just so happens. I have to sell myself. I'm not a salesperson by any means. However, I do know my stuff.
9000:05:38.500 --> 00:05:40.000I'm not the best at it.
9100:05:40.460 --> 00:05:43.660I'm pretty damn good in the best part about me is.
9200:05:45.600 --> 00:05:47.500Where I am working on something.
9300:05:48.640 --> 00:05:55.102That leaves room for growth. I'm not saying I'm the best. So now I'm not but I'm not above learning this little small
9400:05:55.157 --> 00:05:58.140thing. I have now. I'm at a point where yes, I'm good.
9500:05:58.960 --> 00:05:59.860I could be great.
9600:06:00.640 --> 00:06:04.240are there resources that allow me to learn even more so
9700:06:05.660 --> 00:06:07.160making yourself
9800:06:08.000 --> 00:06:10.700The best you can be requires repetition.
9900:06:11.140 --> 00:06:11.640work
10000:06:13.080 --> 00:06:14.980You might cry I cried.
10100:06:15.700 --> 00:06:18.100Just a termination.
10200:06:19.220 --> 00:06:19.820Make it.
10300:06:22.100 --> 00:06:29.200Have fun as creepy as I say have fun in the process of becoming a better you nobody else can do it.
10400:06:31.100 --> 00:06:33.800Everybody got the statue on what they think you should be.
10500:06:34.340 --> 00:06:34.640or
10600:06:35.300 --> 00:06:39.800How far you should go? However, you start again if you start to believe those things.
10700:06:40.860 --> 00:06:45.560You won't get as far as you can go with my friend. She's believed all these other people and I'm like
10800:06:46.660 --> 00:06:51.060What are you doing? You've been this position one position for 4 years.
10900:06:51.420 --> 00:06:52.720Did you have not?
11000:06:54.280 --> 00:07:00.476You've been overlooked and I when you say Overlook because it requires you to actually put for put your foot forward to do
11100:07:00.527 --> 00:07:00.680it.
11200:07:02.380 --> 00:07:08.280She was comfortable just complacency that all why didn't deserve it. Who says that you don't deserve it.
11300:07:09.560 --> 00:07:14.660Who told you that for you to solidify and validate that?
11400:07:15.520 --> 00:07:19.120Actual statement I give that statement no life because you know, why?
11500:07:20.100 --> 00:07:21.300If I don't deserve it.
11600:07:22.020 --> 00:07:24.920Now I'm going to work for it when it does come up again. I got it.
11700:07:28.560 --> 00:07:29.360When you sit back.
11800:07:32.440 --> 00:07:33.740When you sit back.
11900:07:35.040 --> 00:07:40.688Be prepared for other people to step forward and move fast you like they're going to go ahead and take it. They're not
12000:07:40.736 --> 00:07:46.479waiting for you to be like what she finally got it. Okay now is give her the position No they want you to earn it. They
12100:07:46.527 --> 00:07:50.740want you to appreciate it. They want you to actually they want to feel that you will do.
12200:07:51.260 --> 00:07:58.208Your utmost best in that position like they view you in the position that you're working in and they see how complacent
12300:07:58.267 --> 00:07:59.260you are. How just
12400:07:59.560 --> 00:08:01.860Not involved you are that stuff.
12500:08:04.200 --> 00:08:09.891Is what they see, so of course when it comes time for a promotion say well, I mean she's not really doing this job with
12600:08:09.939 --> 00:08:11.900why would we put her up for the next one?
12700:08:14.560 --> 00:08:16.660You got to actually put forth the effort.
12800:08:17.840 --> 00:08:19.140To get what you want.
12900:08:20.400 --> 00:08:25.400If there is a position if someone else got it before you then is not is not a big.
13000:08:25.780 --> 00:08:29.880Issue and talking to the person who did the hiring well.
13100:08:30.560 --> 00:08:36.160In what ways can I become better to next time be considered for the promotion It's all about wording too
13200:08:38.000 --> 00:08:43.351You don't want to be in attacking mode. You want to be in the more understanding. Hey, I want to try and get better type deal
13300:08:43.395 --> 00:08:47.900of you because you altimate Lee want you should want to get better if you want to stay where you are.
13400:08:49.580 --> 00:08:50.980the be happy
13500:08:51.820 --> 00:08:54.920What's the pay that you're getting how you're being treated the hours you're working all that great stuff.
13600:08:56.040 --> 00:08:56.540simple as that
13700:08:58.500 --> 00:08:59.200Put in the work.
13800:09:00.860 --> 00:09:02.160Enjoy the process.
13900:09:03.720 --> 00:09:05.520of becoming a better you
14000:09:06.400 --> 00:09:11.600That's what happened overnight. It's not something you go. See in a month is not something you would see in a year.
14100:09:12.040 --> 00:09:13.440Is something you will feel?
14200:09:14.640 --> 00:09:18.240It's not something you see I can physically change all day.
14300:09:18.940 --> 00:09:22.240however, my mental growth my personal growth my
14400:09:24.200 --> 00:09:28.320my professional growth that stuff.
14500:09:28.620 --> 00:09:35.948You don't see you feel the difference just even a conversation with somebody if you didn't know technical terms, this that and
14600:09:36.009 --> 00:09:36.620the other?
14700:09:38.240 --> 00:09:40.240And it was a struggle for you to keep up in a conversation.
14800:09:41.100 --> 00:09:41.900now you
14900:09:42.480 --> 00:09:48.543You're in the same conversation with a different group of people and now you're actually engaging you're putting your
15000:09:48.594 --> 00:09:54.761opinion out there. It's all relevant to the conversation. You don't feel lost. That's your growth. That's the growth that
15100:09:54.813 --> 00:09:55.280you feel.
15200:09:56.120 --> 00:10:01.620If they even with in a professional setting arm the first time I went to like a big networking event.
15300:10:02.860 --> 00:10:04.660to do wholesaling of houses. Mind you I am
15400:10:05.380 --> 00:10:06.180by myself
15500:10:07.460 --> 00:10:08.360I never
15600:10:08.740 --> 00:10:11.640First off. I'm a very shy person surprisingly.
15700:10:13.580 --> 00:10:14.680Especially when I first meet people
15800:10:15.440 --> 00:10:17.240I really I feel like I've outgrown it.
15900:10:18.460 --> 00:10:21.460So now I'm in a position where I'm around like all these.
16000:10:22.200 --> 00:10:28.515It was like a hundred people that were all trying to, you know, do wholesaling and get their business all set in there. I
16100:10:28.568 --> 00:10:29.200am just like
16200:10:29.800 --> 00:10:31.300What have I stepped into?
16300:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.840I paid money now. I'm listening to this. I see this person. All right, cool.
16400:10:37.720 --> 00:10:39.420I find is one person I talk to.
16500:10:40.020 --> 00:10:43.020All right quick stick with them. We're good Nahh they left me.
16600:10:43.460 --> 00:10:44.460they left me
16700:10:45.980 --> 00:10:46.980fast forward again
16800:10:48.480 --> 00:10:50.380to an event
16900:10:52.400 --> 00:10:54.800I would say was probably about six months ago.
17000:10:55.920 --> 00:10:58.520Mind you that first event I went to the outside was in my
17100:11:00.460 --> 00:11:02.160Maybe like 23.
17200:11:03.680 --> 00:11:04.5802223
17300:11:05.400 --> 00:11:07.700Now I'm 29 in this event. I'm just okay.
17400:11:09.200 --> 00:11:11.500We're taking this whole networking. Thanks a whole nother level.
17500:11:12.080 --> 00:11:14.580Meeting these different people now you're realizing the actual.
17600:11:16.020 --> 00:11:20.220The point of meeting all these other people contacts contacts contacts.
17700:11:22.720 --> 00:11:25.120That's the thing that you once you realize.
17800:11:25.940 --> 00:11:30.240Your purpose there what you're supposed to be doing there. Then you realize the point of it.
17900:11:31.020 --> 00:11:33.320Just to know the growth then.
18000:11:34.000 --> 00:11:38.800Just to feel the growth from when I was first in that situation to where I am now.
18100:11:40.040 --> 00:11:40.540that took
18200:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.2006 years
18300:11:43.300 --> 00:11:44.5006 years
18400:11:47.420 --> 00:11:50.620Not saying I wasn't I wasn't purposely trying to work on it, but
18500:11:51.240 --> 00:11:52.240Now I'm back in this environment.
18600:11:53.620 --> 00:11:56.220Here's what I did wrong the first time. Let me better myself.
18700:11:57.360 --> 00:12:02.160That's what it takes to become a better you you personally have to realize the work.
18800:12:04.520 --> 00:12:05.420That needs to be done
18900:12:05.960 --> 00:12:10.360or you need to realize how uncomfortable you felt in this environment and now
19000:12:12.220 --> 00:12:15.420I'm back in this how am I going to better myself to be able to?
19100:12:16.000 --> 00:12:18.800Not feel uncomfortable to be able to stand with.
19200:12:19.840 --> 00:12:20.940and to be able to contribute
19300:12:24.660 --> 00:12:25.360Focus
19400:12:26.040 --> 00:12:29.040A lot of these young kids nowadays they are too busy.
19500:12:29.680 --> 00:12:31.880focusing on other people
19600:12:32.360 --> 00:12:36.060Too busy focusing on with this person have or too busy.
19700:12:36.760 --> 00:12:38.760trying to keep up with this person and
19800:12:39.600 --> 00:12:44.000What is the social media big hype challenge thing is like?
19900:12:44.840 --> 00:12:51.740You've got to tune it all out because you know what at the end of the day. It does not affect you on a one-on-one level.
20000:12:52.360 --> 00:13:01.518I hope you all Implement some of these suggestions remember to work on a better you begins with y o and you until we meet
20100:13:01.594 --> 00:13:06.060again, this is Melanie McFadden in Mentor Mill signing off.
