Building Habits, Building You
In this episode, Patricia dives into the powerful connection between self-care, identity, and habit formation. You’ll learn why habits, not resolutions, shape your future, how to become the “anthropologist” of your own life, and how tiny, consistent actions create long-term transformation. With insights from coaching, behavioural science, and personal stories, this episode guides you toward building habits that support a more intentional, compassionate, and fulfilling life.
Key Takeaways
- Habits shape your reality; Research suggests nearly half of our daily actions are habitual, often unconscious, and can steer us toward growth or self-sabotage.
- Interference holds us back; Coaching helps uncover the internal patterns (beliefs, fears, conditioning) that block your potential.
- Start small; Micro-habits bypass resistance and help your brain form new neural pathways with ease.
- Identity matters; As James Clear notes, habits stick when anchored to who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve.
- The RAS is always listening; Your brain filters information for whatever you focus on, so feed your intentions, not your fears.
- Habit formation takes time; The “21-day rule” is a myth. Research shows habits can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to become automatic.
- Consistency over perfection; Missing a day doesn’t break a habit, but quitting on yourself does.
- Track, celebrate, repeat; Small wins activate dopamine and reinforce your identity as someone who follows through.
- Gentleness is non-negotiable; Long-term sustainable change is built on self-love, patience, and awareness, not pressure.
Quote;
“People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits — and their habits decide their futures.” — F.M. Alexander
Referenced Research
Habit Formation Research
- Phillippa Lally et al. (2009), University College London; Study finding an average of 66 days to reach habit automaticity (range 18–254 days).
Tiny Habits / Behaviour Design
- BJ Fogg, Stanford University — Behaviour Model and the science behind tiny habits.
Identity-Based Habits
- James Clear — Book, Atomic Habits
Coaching Foundations
- Timothy Gallwey — “Performance - Interference = Potential – Interference”
- Positive Intelligence - https://www.positiveintelligence.com/
Final Message
This year, choose habits that honour who you are becoming. Start small, stay curious, celebrate every win, and build a foundation of self-love that can support meaningful, lasting change.
You matter, today, this year, next year and every year.
Email me at hello@pacoaching.co.uk
Website www.pacoaching.co.uk
