What is our relationship to sexual pleasure? How do we communicate it in subtle and explicit ways to our kids? What needs to change about our relationship to sexual pleasure?
Kids are being exposed, intentionally or unintentionally, to porn between the ages of 10-13. Porn is filling in a sexual pleasure education gap. So, it's time for us to have the talk.
Three questions structure our sexual pleasure talk. What is the primary source of our kids’ education in sexual pleasure? We talk through a New York Times article that reported that for over 70% of teens, porn is how they get their sexual pleasure education. It also explores what our teens learn from porn about female sexual pleasure. The 2019 film Good Boys helps us think about this, too.
Is porn one reason why teens are nowadays not having as much sex with their peers? We talk about a recent study that seems to show teens are having less sex with one another and even masturbating less.
We consider the incredibly funny and insightful Netflix series, A.P. BIO, especially episode 6 of Season 4, “Love, For Lack of a Better Term.” How does this episode of A.P. BIO help clarify our understanding of what kinds of sexual pleasure our kids are after . . . and why porn may be playing an outside role in their pursuit of sexual pleasure?
What's the big lesson? The sexual pleasure of love is the stuff of improv. It requires the oral feedback of others.
Explore:
Find the 36 questions to love here: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
Read Maggie Jones article for The New York Times, "What Teens Are Learning From Porn" here: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/07/magazine/teenagers-learning-online-porn-literacy-sex-education.html
Watch The Good Boys: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Boys-Jacob-Tremblay/dp/B07W5JTPX8
Watch A.P. BIO, 4.6, "Love for Lack of a Better Term": https://www.netflix.com/title/80177453
Learn more about Alain Badiou on love: https://aeon.co/videos/defend-love-as-a-real-risky-adventure-philosopher-alain-badiou-on-modern-romance
Read Adam Phillips's book: On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored: https://www.hup.harvard.edu/books/9780674634633
