Description

Are consequences the only way to manage behaviour? In this thought-provoking solo episode, behaviour specialist and trainer Andy Baker challenges one of the most commonly accepted ideas in parenting, education, and care: that consequences are the best way to teach behaviour.

From the science of brain regulation to trauma-informed practice and real-world stories, Andy shares six powerful, research-backed strategies that are not only more effective—but also kinder. Whether you're a parent, teacher, support worker or carer, this episode will shift your mindset and give you tools to build connection instead of control.

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🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• Polyvagal Theory – Explained by NICABM

• Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

💡 Three Key Messages:

1. Punishment isn't teaching—it’s suppression.
   True behaviour change comes from teaching, not controlling. Consequences alone rarely build long-term learning or emotional resilience.

2. Connection is the most powerful behaviour tool we have.
   Co-regulation, empathy, storytelling and reflection help build the skills needed to manage behaviour from the inside out.

3. Investing time upfront saves time later.
   It may feel quicker to impose a consequence, but when we use modelling and skill-building instead, we reduce repeat incidents.

⏱️ Episode Chapters:

• 00:00 – Consequences aren’t the only tool

• 00:25 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK

• 01:46 – Why we default to punishment: evolution, culture, behaviourism

• 03:46 – How punishment creates a cycle of low self-esteem

• 04:50 – The brain under stress: why consequences fail when dysregulated

• 05:37 – Shame, deflection, and emotional safety

• 06:00 – The 6 teaching tools that work better than consequences:

  • 1. Modelling

    2. Practice & rehearsal

    3. Co-regulation

    4. Reflection & repair

    5. Storytelling & metaphor

    6. Natural/logical consequences

• 13:52 – What about accountability?

• 15:23 – Is this all too “soft”? Or is it strategic?

• 16:22 – Weekly challenge: replace one consequence with a teaching tool

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?

This episode flips the script on how we teach behaviour—whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker. You’ll walk away with practical, compassionate alternatives to traditional discipline, rooted in psychology, neuroscience and real-life application.

If you’ve ever asked:
➡️ “What else can I do when consequences don’t work?”
➡️ “How can I improve behaviour without shouting or punishment?”
➡️ “How do I teach better choices in the moment?”

—then this episode is a must-listen.

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