In this episode of the Able To Care Podcast Andy Baker challenges one of the most common assumptions in caregiving and education: that quiet, compliant behaviour means a child or adult is okay. From classrooms to care homes, we often confuse a lack of disruption with emotional wellbeing—but the two aren't always connected.
This episode explores how masking, compliance, and people-pleasing can be signs of distress, not progress. It’s a must-listen for parents, teachers, and carers who want to better understand what behaviour really tells us—and when silence might be a red flag.
💡 Sponsor Message:
This episode is proudly sponsored by Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned:
Able Hub – Free tools, training, and community for carers, parents, and educators
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Mood Monitoring Tools – Consider using apps or visual emotion charts
✅ Three Key Messages:
Behaviour ≠ Wellbeing – Quietness and compliance can sometimes be signs of masking or distress.
Check in Emotionally, Not Just Behaviourally – Emotional check-ins should be part of daily practice, not just reserved for crisis moments.
Masking is Not a Sign of Progress – Children and adults may learn to “be good” to avoid punishment, not because they feel safe or happy.
⏳ Timestamps (Chapter Markers):
[00:00] – Introduction: “She’s been so good lately…”
[01:00] – Sponsor Message: Carers Card UK
[02:00] – Behaviour vs. Wellbeing: What Are We Really Measuring?
[04:00] – The Masking Effect in Trauma and Neurodivergence
[05:30] – Real-Life Examples: When ‘Good’ Isn’t Good News
[07:00] – What to Ask Instead of “Have They Been Good?”
[08:00] – Emotional Check-ins: Why Staff Should Model Too
[09:00] – Looking Beyond the Surface: Signs of Emotional Safety
[10:00] – Final Thoughts: Moving from Behaviour to Belonging
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you work with or care for children, young people, or adults—this episode could shift your entire perspective. Andy Baker shares practical insights and powerful real-life scenarios to help you move beyond behavioural assumptions and start seeing the person underneath. Whether you're a parent, educator, or care professional, you’ll walk away better equipped to ask the right questions and support emotional wellbeing more effectively.
📲 Connect with Us!
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
📲 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
🙌 This is a Free Resource
If this episode made you pause and think, share it with your team, your school, or your care community. Start a conversation. Let’s build a culture of curiosity, not just compliance.
🎧 Subscribe to the Able to Care Podcast and leave a review to help others find the support they need.
