What if we stopped talking about neurodivergent children and started talking with them? In this powerful, practical conversation, dad–daughter duo Cliff Kilmister (host of the Parenting, Autism & ADHD podcast) and Eva (13) share real-world insights on autism/ADHD, school placements, EHCPs, praise that actually helps, and why listening to young people changes everything. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or carer, this episode gives you language, mindset shifts and everyday strategies to help neurodivergent children thrive.
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Parenting, Autism & ADHD Podcast (Cliff Kilmister) — search in your podcast app.
Eva’s YouTube channel “INSPIRE” — short videos on topics like masking, stimming, and bullying.
IPSEA (independent SEND law advice for families): https://www.ipsea.org.uk
Gov.uk: EHCP guidance for parents and carers: https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/education-health-and-care-plans
National Autistic Society (resources for home and school): https://www.autism.org.uk
Andy’s book — Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Voice over labels: Neurodivergent young people don’t just need adults to speak for them — they need adults to listen to them. Voice, choice and collaboration reduce anxiety and build trust.
Praise the process, not the person or the grade: Switch from “You’re so clever/10-out-of-10!” to “I noticed how you stuck with that and found a strategy that worked.” Process-based feedback supports resilience and reduces performance pressure.
Regulation makes learning possible: Stimming, doodling/sketchbooks, movement and fidgets are tools, not defiance. When classrooms allow regulation, attention rises and behaviour improves.
00:00 — Opening: Why talk with neurodivergent children, not just about them
00:20 — Sponsor: Carers Card UK — recognition, community & discounts
01:41 — Meet Cliff & Eva: lived experience behind the mic
02:28 — Moving from mainstream to an SEN setting: confidence, belonging & hope
07:08 — Diagnosis journey: how long it took and what helped
09:07 — Eva on podcasting: sharing honestly to help other kids feel less alone
12:22 — “Look at me when I’m talking!”: why eye contact isn’t the measure of listening
14:02 — Sketchbooks, routines & self-regulation: doodling to focus
17:08 — EHCPs: what we wish we’d known sooner (and why persistence matters)
23:20 — Rethinking praise: process vs. person/outcome — examples for home & school
29:07 — Eva’s videos: masking, bullying, and making sense of school
32:20 — Hopes for the new school year: safety, acceptance and the right support
35:24 — Free/independent SEND advice & why to keep asking for help
39:07 — Guilt, labels & advocacy: you can adapt support before diagnosis
42:26 — What teachers/carers should know: one thing that changes the day
47:14 — Messages to parents and kids: you’re not alone; your needs are valid
49:02 — Has this journey brought the family closer?
51:09 — Eva’s tip: journaling to feel heard and remember what matters
51:53 — Outro & how to share the episode
Actionable for home & school: Concrete language swaps and classroom accommodations you can try tomorrow.
Lived experience: Hear directly from a neurodivergent teen on what helps — and what harms.
For the whole support circle: Parents, teachers and carers get aligned around connection-first support that improves behaviour, learning and wellbeing.
