Have you ever said, “Be quiet,” or “Stop crying,” and meant well — but noticed it shut things down rather than opened them up?
In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker (behaviour specialist, trainer, author, and speaker) explores how everyday language used in care, education, and family life can either build trust or break it.
Aimed at caregivers, educators, and parents, this thought-provoking episode shows how subtle shifts in language can transform your connection with the people you support — from young children to adults.
This isn’t about being “soft.” It’s about being smart with your words. Learn how to move from control to connection, from correction to collaboration.
💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK
The Able to Care podcast is proudly supported by Order your card today
📚 Resources Mentioned:
Andy’s book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast
💡 Three Key Messages:
The way we phrase things shapes behaviour and safety.
Language can either escalate or regulate, build bridges or burn them.
Small changes in words lead to big changes in connection.
Replacing “stop crying” with “I’m here for you” invites trust and emotional safety.
Words don’t just describe reality — they create it.
From praising effort to setting boundaries with kindness, your language teaches people how safe they are and how capable they can become.
⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters:
00:00 – Introduction: Why the words we use matter
00:43 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:50 – Connection vs control: The impact of phrases like “Stop crying”
02:14 – How language reflects mindset and changes how others see themselves
03:12 – Language as emotional regulation and safety cue
04:44 – Trauma-informed language: Validating vs dismissing distress
05:49 – Replacing correction with collaboration
06:36 – Building a growth mindset with words
07:53 – Avoiding minimisation: Why “it’s not that hard” can harm
08:28 – Reframing “mess” and “behaviour” in play and exploration
09:38 – The principle of positive phrasing: Say what you want to see
10:19 – The TARGET model: How to reflect and shift language patterns
11:14 – Final thought: Every word is a seed — plant safety, not fear
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode:
You’ll gain practical, everyday language swaps that calm instead of escalate
You’ll reflect on your own communication habits and how they shape behaviour
You’ll understand how trust and safety are built one phrase at a time
You’ll be better equipped to help children or adults feel seen, heard and respected
If you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker, this episode will leave you thinking differently about what you say — and why it matters.
📲 Stay Connected:
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
📲 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
