Most of us think behaviour management is about stopping the outburst—but the truth is, what happens afterwards matters even more. In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks the power of repair after conflict and why it’s the most overlooked stage in care, education, and family life. Learn how repair builds trust, strengthens relationships, and prevents repeated incidents—whether you’re a parent, teacher, or carer.
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🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Dan Siegel’s Name it to Tame it principle
Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
Andy Baker’s relational response flow (Connect → Resolve/Correct → Record/Reflect)
🧠 Three Key Messages
Repair is not optional – Behaviour isn’t truly resolved until trust is rebuilt afterwards.
Brains learn in recovery, not in crisis – Reflection works only once calm has returned.
Repair strengthens relationships – Consistent repair fosters safety, resilience, and long-term positive outcomes.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Why repair is the missing piece in behaviour management
02:00 – Understanding recovery vs. crisis learning
04:15 – The neuroscience of memory and the recency effect
06:00 – Repair, attachment theory, and building resilience
08:30 – Practical frameworks: feelings before facts & reflection models
11:00 – Real-world example: A parent choosing repair over confrontation
13:00 – The PERFORM framework for debrief and moving on
15:30 – Objections answered: “We don’t have time for repair”
17:30 – Final reflection: Trust is built in recovery, not calm
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you’ve ever wondered why the same behaviours keep happening, this episode will shift your perspective. You’ll walk away with practical tools for:
Rebuilding trust after conflict
Supporting children, adults, or older people more effectively
Saving time and energy by preventing repeat incidents
This is essential listening for anyone in care, education, or parenting who wants stronger relationships and better outcomes.
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