In this episode, Ali and Ros explore what it really means to take accountability in relationships — or, as they put it, to “own your own shit.” They unpack how recognizing the impact of our actions and reactions can transform the way we connect with others, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or at work. Using everyday examples — including the classic disagreement over how to load the dishwasher — the hosts reveal how small moments often reflect deeper patterns in communication and understanding.
Ali and Ros also dive into the discomfort that comes with facing our own shortcomings and the defence mechanisms that can get in the way. They remind listeners that accountability isn’t about self-blame; it’s about awareness, empathy, and learning to respond rather than react. With practical tools and honest reflection, they offer ways to break unhelpful cycles and build stronger, more supportive relationships grounded in honesty, growth, and mutual respect.
✨Perfect for anyone interested in understanding the taking of accountability, being self reflective, having better communication, relationship dynamics, and partnership.
Chapters:
00:00 The Importance of Accountability in Relationships
06:35 Understanding Impact and Self-Reflection
14:24 Defensiveness and Shame in Communication
14:33 Understanding Defensive Behaviours and Accountability
16:26 Navigating Shame and Rejection in Relationships
17:35 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Acknowledgment
20:07 Normalizing Human Imperfection and Accountability
24:24 Effective Communication and Validation in Relationships
28:14 Owning Your Defensiveness and Seeking Growth
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What did you love most? What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
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All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
