For most of my life, masculinity wasn’t an identity it was a survival strategy.
It helped me endure violence, silence, addiction, and pressure. It taught me how to push through pain, stay in control, and keep moving when stopping felt dangerous. And for a long time, that version of strength kept me alive.
But survival has an expiration date.
In this episode of Help the People, I reflect on what happened when sobriety forced stillness, and stillness forced honesty. When the masculine energy that once protected me could no longer sustain me. And when qualities I once avoided receptivity, tenderness, emotional presence began to surface.
This isn’t a conversation about rejecting masculinity or replacing it with something else. It’s about integration. About what happens when strength no longer needs armor, and when a man learns to rest without disappearing.
Drawing from my memoir Letters From the Valley, I explore the difference between survival and alignment, why enlightenment is often misunderstood, and what it means to become whole without performing.
This episode is for anyone who has been praised for surviving but never taught how to rest. For men learning how to sit with themselves after the chaos quiets. And for those discovering that softness, when held with boundaries, is not weakness it’s wisdom.
