For anyone who has ever searched outside themselves, aching to feel whole again — this is for you.
I spent much of my life looking outside myself to find myself — not realizing that what I ached and yearned for most had always been within.
Early on in my healing, I came to understand that my addiction to alcohol and drugs wasn’t truly about escape — it was about longing. A deep, sacred yearning for peace… for the bliss of union with God.
I believed that in becoming human — in taking on this form — I had somehow been separated from God. Or as I prefer to say: separated from Love, from Source.
But this isn’t just my story. It’s the quiet truth beneath all addiction — all compulsions, all the restless searching outside ourselves. Whether it’s substances, relationships, approval, control, or distraction… what we’re really seeking is to come home.
We spend our lives searching — reaching, striving, looking outward — when in fact the only true journey is inward, into the sacred heart space within.
And even that… is not really a search.
Because one day, quietly, we come to understand:
There is nothing missing.
There is nothing to become.
In any given moment, we are already all of it.
All peace.
All love.
All presence — here and now.
Nigel Lott teaandzen.org
If what you’ve read, heard, or felt in this space has opened your heart, brought you comfort, or reminded you of what is sacred —please consider making a donation.
Meditation Sans Frontieres 501 (C) 3 Non Profit Registered Charity TAX EIN 81-3411835
Get full access to Tea and Zen - Threads at teaandzen.substack.com/subscribe
