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Do you ever feel torn between craving closeness and pushing people away? You’re not alone—this push-pull cycle is one of the biggest signs of a Disorganized Attachment Style (also known as the Fearful Avoidant. In this video, Thais Gibson reveals the 10 clearest signs you may actually be disorganized attached—and how understanding them can completely change the way you see yourself and your relationships.
You’ll discover how chaos in childhood wires the nervous system for both fear of abandonment and fear of commitment, and how these patterns play out in love, friendships, and family dynamics. Most importantly, you’ll learn that with the right tools, you can reprogram old wounds and move toward a secure, lasting connection.
You’ll learn:
✅ Why the Disorganized Attachment is often misdiagnosed as anxious or dismissive
✅ The “pendulum swing” between fearing abandonment and fearing commitment
✅ How hypervigilance, suspicion, and jumping to conclusions develop
✅ Why boundary struggles, over-giving, and people-pleasing keep you stuck
✅ The role of shame, guilt, and self-criticism in keeping you disconnected
✅ How inconsistent vulnerability shows up as under-sharing or over-sharing
✅ Why unresolved trauma fuels all-or-nothing thinking and emotional chaos
✅ A powerful roadmap for reprogramming subconscious beliefs and needs
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Intro
01:08 – 1. Fearful Avoidants Flip-Flop Between Fearing Abandonment and Commitment
03:49 – 2. Fearful Avoidants Can Go From Activating to Deactivating
04:23 – Discover, Embrace, & Fulfill Your Personal Needs Course Promo
04:43 – 3. Fearful Avoidants Often Jump to the Worst-Case Conclusions
06:35 – 4. Fearful Avoidants Are Afraid of Feeling Helpless
07:54 – 5. Fearful Avoidants Tend to Be Highly Empathetic or Sympathetic
10:05 – 6. Fearful Avoidants Tend to Struggle With Boundaries
11:03 – 7. Fearful Avoidants Struggle With Regulating Strong Emotions
12:41 – 8. Fearful Avoidants May Undershare or Overshare
13:45 – 9. Fearful Avoidants May Struggle With Extreme Guilt or Shame
14:20 –10. Fearful Avoidants Activate and Deactivate Strongly
14:54 – Conclusion
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover More Podcast Episodes https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#DisorganizedAttachment #FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealing
Disorganized (Fearful Avoidant) attachment can leave you stuck in a painful cycle of craving love but fearing it at the same time. By learning the 10 key signs and how to reprogram these patterns, you can move toward secure, healthy, and deeply connected relationships.
