Dave and Milt crack open a special Past Tens where the subject is none other than the human moonwalk, Michael Jackson—timed nicely with the looming biopic that’s about to remind everyone just how absurdly dominant this guy was. We’re talking voice, moves, mystique, and that little side project with Quincy Jones that somehow turned into the most unfair three-album heater in pop history. Ground rules: solo MJ only. Sorry, Jackson 5—you’ll always have “ABC,” but you’re sitting this one out.
From there, it’s ten categories and approximately 47 friendly arguments. “Most Well-Known Song” turns into a heavyweight bout—“Billie Jean” vs. “Thriller”—with no judges and plenty of yelling. “Where It Began” gives us the early runway (“Rockin’ Robin,” “Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough”), while “Mountain Moment” is basically the peak of the peak (“Beat It,” complete with Eddie Van Halen shredding like he wandered in from another genre, and “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” doing…whatever that song does, which is everything).
We dig for “Deep Cuts” (including a sneaky collab with Lenny Kravitz and a Wiz-adjacent pull), hit the “Chill Moments” (cue gospel chills and emotional uppercuts), and try to pick “Best Lyrics” without just defaulting to that line from “Billie Jean” (we fail, sort of). “Most Overrated” gets spicy—brace yourself if you’re a “Human Nature” defender—before we hit live performances, covers (including a left-field Billie Eilish acoustic moment), and pop culture usage featuring the holy trinity: Weird Al Yankovic, Eddie Murphy, and The Simpsons doing what The Simpsons does.
It’s part appreciation, part chaos, part “how is one catalog this stacked?”—and yes, we know, it’s complicated. But for 90 minutes, we’re staying in our lane: the music, the moments, and the madness.
Topics (a.k.a. the roadmap before we inevitably go off-road)
