Ohio University has an official spray tan sponsor. We thought Wisconsin led the nation in stadium beer sales. (A correction was issued the day after we recorded this episode, and it’s actually Nebraska. Also not surprising.) Oh, and Highland Cows are soft.
And those, friends, are just the first of what is a show full of crucial college football insights as we’re all incredibly distracted in Week 11. Welcome to the Carla and Crappy Show.
(It’s not quite as good as syncing Dark Side of the Moon to the Wizard of Oz, but this episode is kind of timestamped if you want to sync it to a recording of the Miami-Ohio MACtion game from Tuesday night.)
We begin by attempting to review last weekend, which included a furious attempt at a comeback by the Dores in Austin, Georgia’s near-miss against Florida, and Crappy’s stellar intuition telling us to pay attention to both NC State and SMU. Also, AJ once again has us in our math era, as we try to figure out how to get Pitt and Vandy to their respective conference title games.
We also take a quick spin on the coaching carousel and bid good riddance to Hugh Freeze, although we are very disappointed that Diego didn’t get to finish him off.
And then, finally, we get into the games, starting with AJ’s #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report:
Northwestern at No. 19 USC (9 ET Friday, FOX): Eh?
James Madison at Marshall (Noon ET, ESPN2): The Dukes are good, friends.
Southern Miss at Arkansas State (Noon ET, ESPNU): A Southern Miss/JMU Sun Belt title game? Perhaps.
Duke at UConn (3:30 ET, CBSSN) and Kansas at Arizona (3:30 ET, ESPN2): Is this basketball season? Because this would be a very chalk Final Four.
Air Force at San Jose State (6 ET, FS1): Lots of offense. Very little pass defense. Ironic? Yes.
Nebraska at UCLA (9 ET, FOX): We’re sad that Dylan Raiola is done for the year.
UNLV at Colorado State (9:30 ET, FS1): Just because.
Sam Houston at Oregon State (10 ET, CW): Beavs win three in a row!?
San Diego State at Hawaii (11 ET, MW App): Legit could be one of the best games of the weekend. Caffeinate, friends. Also, go Bows.
The Big 12 Buffet menu is a tad lighter than usual, mostly because the main course is a really big main course (and we stole it for the Big Boy slate):
Houston at UCF (8 ET Friday, FS1): Not sure why this line is so close, or why ESPN metrics predict a UCF win. Curious.
Colorado at West Virginia (Noon ET, TNT): Buffs are in FAFO mode with their own roster.
Iowa State at TCU (3:30 ET, FOX): Cyclones are on a 4-game skid.
Speaking of that Big Boy slate …
Tulane at Memphis (9 ET Friday, ESPN): Call this the Middle School game in the Big Boy slate, but this is a legit good game. Get your eyeballs here on Friday night. Unless you have YouTubeTV. Then, well … do what you can.
No. 7 BYU at No. 8 Texas Tech (Noon ET, ABC): The main entree of this week’s Big 12 Buffet is well deserving of a promotion to the Big Boy menu. Texas Tech’s defense is scary good. BYU … doesn’t know what it doesn’t know, perhaps?
No. 3 Texas A&M at No. 22 Missouri (3:30 ET, ABC): Could be a tricky one for the Aggies, thanks to a stout Tiger defense, but no Beau for Mizzou is likely the difference here.
No. 9 Oregon at No. 20 Iowa (3:30 ET, CBS): The Ducks … ain’t played nobody, other than Indiana, and we all saw how that went. While it’s not full-on scary nighttime Kinnick, it will be dark by the end of this one. Can Iowa pull off the upset at home?
Auburn at No. 16 Vanderbilt (4 ET, SECN): We’re not sure Diego’s gonna care that Freeze isn’t on the sideline.
LSU at No. 4 Alabama (7:30 ET, ABC): The chaos at LSU has been entertaining for the rest of us, but how will it translate on the field? A Tiger win here would be hilarious … but not likely. Bama is actually good again. (Sigh.)
Our honorable mention nods this week go to:
No. 2 Indiana at Penn State (Big Nude, FOX): Sigh.
Wagner at Robert Morris (Noon ET, ESPN+): Bob goes for consecutive wins.
Williams at Amherst (Noon ET, Northeast Sports Network): The Biggest Little Game. Go Ephs!
Franklin & Marshall at Carnegie Mellon (Noon ET, Centennial Conference TV): It’s homecoming for the Tartans.
No. 1 Ohio State at Purdue (1 ET, BTN): Crappy’s having unhappy flashbacks.
FIU at MTSU (3 ET, ESPN+): Welcome back, Jake Rose!
South Dakota State at South Dakota (4 ET, ESPNU): Nationally televised FCS football! Also, corn?
Navy at No. 10 Notre Dame (7:30 ET, NBC): Maybe interesting? Likely not.
And finally, as a heads-up, Ohio is at Western Michigan (8 ET Tuesday, ESPN2) … yes, once again during our recording time. So, yeah.
Enjoy the football and the chaos this weekend, friends. We’ll see you back here next week for what will likely be another episode full of distractions. Cheers, yinz and y’all!
